Sunday, December 31, 2006

i was visiting and i this was what i've found!

(left to right 1st row)
>lee hyori (80%)

>janie tienphosuwan (67%)

>woranuch wongsawan (63%)

>>kristine hermosa (62%)

(left to right 2nd row)
>bunko kanazawa (61%)

>kim tae hee (60%) my favorite star!

>hillary duff (58%)

>kate hudson (58%)

You know people, I feel that since the year is ending I must write something in line with that here in my blog but I just can’t seem to find the topic that would be interesting enough for me to write here..! kakainis! Im getting frustrated,,, whell, whadya think should be deem right here? A yearend report of my life for the past 365 days? Haay that would be too boring. A thank you very much list? A new year resolution? Blah, blah, blah…

Alam niyo guys, napapadalas ang pagreminisce ko ng mga memories for the past 12 months.. as in for example, im going to lie down sa bed, bigla nalang a flurry of memories would rush all over my body. Haay.. bute sana kung puro good memories but the memories that keeps coming back are those I’d rather avoid remembering… but could it also be that I miss those times and at the back of my head it is true and im just denying it?? I dunno.. think bout that some ader tym.




Nothing more to write…

I think I’d just upload pixs in my albums huh? That’s pretty sensible as compared to those mentioned up above the blog so high. Haha.

By the superhighway, got that tagline from the coming teleserye,,, yah know,, kim and gerald’s ripoff of “if only” but I think I like the lines ofMichael de mesa (a.k.a the driver/reminder/angel/advocate) which speaks about TIME. Im very interested in those quotable quotes eh but ‘nuff said here. I’d disgust it some other time nyahaha…

Oh my,, in just a few hours 2006 will now be saying goodbye and we will soon welcome 2007!!! Ang bilis ng panahon noh?? Although this year has been full of sad memories and painful experiences,, go! go! go! paren tayong lahat!! Yehey! Im just glad that I was able to surpass everything that life has hurled at me…

*thanks sa lahat ng mga tao who made 2006 a memorable and happy year. Thanks for the friendship, companionship, love, happy memories and ofcourse lessons!! Maraming salamat senyong lahat.
*sorry din sa mga taong nasaktan ko, intentionally or not.
*thank you God for all the good and bad things that had come my way. Thank you for giving me another year to live.

WELCOME 2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys, help me think of a levelheaded risoluzione femminile. Adios!
. Please.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

[p.s.-late lang ang time and date sa blog but it’s reall December 24, 2006]

In just a few hours, everyone is again gonna celebrate the birthday of our savior lord jesus Christ. But hey, are we really ready for the big event? Yeah sure the great food are there and our Christmas tree had loads of gifts underneath it but there is always more to that right? I mean the REAL MEANING OF CHRISTMAS. Back then, im sure they don’t even celebrate it with Christmas party or kris kringle.. im talking about the genuine reason why we have this celebration.. to once again recognize the birth of that one man or god who loved us so much enough to live his majestic life in heaven and to experience living with us by becoming a man and eventually, give up that life again for us to be saved. Isn’t amazing? I for one think it is. Think of it as someone’s birthday but you’re the one who gets the present. That I think must be the real essence of Christmas: to be able to share something, not too much but something real and from the heart with all our loved ones.

Wow, if this is indeed the reason why many of us celebrate Christmas, im sure jesus would no doubt enjoy being born over and over again. :D

And lastly,,, a letter to Santa...









Friday, December 22, 2006

It’s 2 days before Christmas!!! :D


(2 months ago….)
Haaay, submission na naman ng articles for our school paper and eto na naman ako squeezing my brain in and out for my assigned articles and what to do sa Filipino page which ahem ahem *drumrolls here* I happened to manage. Wheeee. Ang saya! Not. Haha, I think everyone hates Filipino because only a handful (uhm, no only two people have said yes to me) of writers had promised me to deliver a Filipino essay or paper or death march. Hahah.
(a month ago…)
Looking forward na to helping in the layout with the other editors. Yippee! Dream come true.. and we’ll be having colored pictures na for the whole paper!! It’s definitely a HUGE improvement talaga noh??? Yeah yeah! And we’re celebrating our 40th anniversary..! so we’re having a err… little trivia for ourselves here… heheh… baby pictures daw matched with the now-picture of us. Isn’t that great? I think it’s creepy considering that Halloween was just over.. well, you must know what im talking about na,,, hay, hay.,
(as, of the moment… were having problems but go! go! parin! Haha love yah ms.jenny!)

Card’s out-grrr! Boo economics!! I was expecting na I would be seeing a 90 sa card but it turns out pala to be the other way around!! Bumaba. From 89, it became 85 nalang. Screw that! Haha. Oh,,, A MILLION DOLLAR THANKS TO MRS. LORNA TOLENTINO aka ms. Lt for resurrecting my English grade. Haay,, pero nakakasakit isipin na ang English grade ko ngayon ay 85 below when back then… it soared *enters melodrama music here*huhu. You know mga 89, 90 ganon. Haay… oh well, ayun were doing research na… TERM PAPER!!! Heh.

***beep beep beep!

Heheh… months later:
Luck seems to be on my side when it comes to my what I called “pampakilig” why? Ha. Kinakausap lang naman ako ng isa sa mga never imagined persons na makakausap ko! Ang saya and he asked for my HELP! Sa telephone pa! Ha. Of all people!? Lucky me..! tas nakabonding ko pa yung isa kong crush ng 1 WHOLE DAY!! Im sure lotsa people would have given me their right arm just to be in my position! Sorry nalang kayo! Ha-ha! And yung isa pang guy,, MKA well, ewan UST din siya daw!! Nursing pa… oh? Destiny…saya…. Pero feeling ko malas ako sa mga bigger, more important things.. nyah. Sana indi…

Simbang gabi! Simbang gabi! Magsisisimbang gabi kame! (ay, ako lang pala!) haha ikokomplete ko siya pwomise!!

*** and still months later:

December events:

Retreat: overnight November 30 to December 01 2006

Ang saya.. considering that this will be our only retreat sa highschool life namen.. the facilitator was ok. Super ok pala… haha and he made us do funny hand signals and stuff. At first puro tawa pa but he still manage to get clear his messages ha. Galing.! And at one point, when he talked about his own cruelty sa mom niya and how he aborted babies back then.. I was almost teary-eyed talaga. And ang saya kasi kain kami ng kain!! We’re like pigs na pinapataba!! Haha. And then yung mga games…. Simple pero when u get to actually do it na.. ang hirap pala… haha then came the sad part yung iyakan moments, talagang I was bawling super!! Na clogged nga yung nose ko sa dami ng siphon eh!! It made me realize a lot of things about my parents specially… nakakiyak talaga yung mga sinasabi niya na “anak, mahal na mahal kita balah…” yun and then nag break time for bath and dinner.. yun ang saya, nakita ko yung white lady malapit sa piety eh. Haha tas nung bath time na ang saya.. kasi ang lamig ng tubig.. (may typhoon ng time na ito!) tas dinner.. ang lamig n ang kain kasi we have to wait for everyone eh.. pero masarap ha. Never expected na ganun knowing how stringy hfa can be. Haha!! Tas yun last session.. iyakan na naman kasi parang appreciation for classmates and sorry taska thank yous ganon. Hinug ko almost all of my classmates and Karen kasi yung dad na may serious na sakit then yun bonding time na till midnight and then kaming girls nag kwentuhan about ghost and yung mga nawalang loved one nila. I had a hard time falling asleep so mga 3am na ako nakatulog and at 5am I was awake na haha. Sabi ni sir, sobrang diresto daw ang position ko haha! Then nasa manila na ang eye ng storm tas yun no one took a bath HAHAHA tas breakfast! Yummy tocino and then we did subashi prayer!! Tas prepare na for mass,, mom and pia was there and im so happy they made it!! Never kong inexpect na nandun sila. They really made my day super happy I was teary-eyed huhuhu..then we ate sa jollibee.. miss my fries!! (pics sa multiply)

Christmas party: December 19
Wow nothing much pare, 3 hours lang kaya? Actually we were there 7am to noon kasso 8 to 9:30 ay mass na allow me to say was burning hot!! Susko! Ang aking balat ay muntik ng masunog at napagalitan pa ako ni lola!! Nothing much,,, nanalo ako sa isang game na nilaro namen ni najee kasi matakaw kami pareho kaya ganon. Tas masarap ang cake ng Corinthians galing ni baden.. and I received gifts!! Ang saya haha tas watch movie with hazel and celine. Nakita ko pala si tophey with Kristine joy, yung ex nia,, hehe yun,,, haha masayang kasama sina hazel dahil pag kasama mo siya 10 years muna ang lilipas bago kayo makagawa ng isang normal na Gawain. Haha at ang lamig sa sinehan at ang kapal ng mukha namen na magpictorial sa sine haha. Kasi we were about 30 lang ata sa loob!!

What keeps me busy these past days:

Sunday-watch the movie (a.k.a dvd for our cle and now I remember na kelangan pal ang reaction paper for that.,,, aaaaarrrrrrhh… kasi naman the story was SOOOOOO typical nothing much talaga really…)

Monday- operation joy haay.,,,, the DRIEST I ever had sa buong highschool life kasi naman walang student participation lalo na seniors!! And 3rd lowest ang acts sa piso mula sa puso. Ngeh…

Tuesday-Christmas party. Look up there stupid asshole

Wednesday-medical mission with my mom sa baliti. Will say nothing more beep.

Thursday-grocery shopping ng cocktails and milk cowhead yippee!! And I bought hoop earrings haha. Nice one!!

Friday- did the case study “biyaheng noypi” kainis kasi sa 3 hours na pinagsamahan namen at nila. Walang nangyari. okey enough rantings nah hay... sayang pagod ko. haha bute nalang i had a sundae to keep me cool haha. Oh by the way. Cassey got accepted na sa UA & P! lucky her.! And spend my lunchtime eating butong pakwan.

ps. cute ng token of appreciation ni palo ha.. in fairness naman kasi nakomplete kami...

pss. lapit na christmas.... brrrr... lamig every morning palagi akong may siphon!! haha...
kahapon pala december 21 was the shortest day of the year,, la lang heeh

psss. sana this year maging mas meaningful christmas ko knowing that it's mah last as simply as child whaaaaaa... lalim :D

Thursday, November 02, 2006

I don’t usually put song lyrics on my blog since I feel na it’s so BADUY and there are many more sensible things to write about than some song’s lyrics ano?

Now what am I just doing huh???

Okay, forgive me for what im about to do and for breaking my self-imposed rule… I just need to get this out of my chest! I’ve been humming this tune nonstop since last week I thought im going berserk.. oh well, I must be forgiven because it’s been another year when I lost the boy that I thought was my one great true love and no, it’s not and will never gonna be you PAENG!!

By: Oliver James
Thank you for this momentI've gotta say how beautiful you areOf all the hopes and dreams I could've prayed forThere you areIf I could have one dance foreverI would take you by the handTonight it's you and I togetherI'm so glad, I'm your manAnd if I lived a thousand yearsYou know, I never could explainThe way I lost my heart to youThat dayBut if destiny decidedI should look the other wayThen the world would never knowThe greatest story ever toldAnd did I tell you that I love you tonight?I don't hear the musicWhen I'm looking in your eyesBut I feel the rhythm of your bodyClose to mine.Its the way we touch that sends meIts the way we'll always beYour kiss, your pretty smile you know I'd die forOh baby, your all I need

*tears can fall and eyes could parched perpetually.
*memories can fade and overlook you
*bodies will be worn out and everything will diminish
but the love you and I encompass will blaze for eternity.


Monday, October 30, 2006

It is in silence when we can truly reflect on what is happening to us. After a series of whirlwind events, it is only now that I came to realize why such things happen to me,,, a product more of reason than destiny, siguru pin,,, ini talaga ing para kaku…


At first masakit, no to hear your name being called to receive such recognition but then I learned how to accept such pain with humility and honor parin. Knowing that what I did was my best, I should no longer stain my heart anymore than what I did. I still thank god for giving me the wonderful opportunity to bond with other people and ofcourse the chance to prove my worth once again. Although, it didn’t end in a fairy tale for me.. it’s a wonderful experience I would forever cherish.


Sa last intrams namen for the last year in highschool sobrang nag-enjoy ako.. although mayroong glitches and everything,,, at least natupad and 2 goals ko for this intrams…. First, and matalo si ann Vasquez.. hehe… eversince kasi freshmen years till nung mga juniors kame eh palagi nalang nia ako naiisahan. And now, for the grand finale,, natalo ko siya in a super fierce and punong puno ng tension na game… eto palang game namen with them was DIRTIEST game that I ever played sa playing history ko. Basta, im not elaborating na pero yellow and red team.. you KNOW what im talking about! Nga pala.. eto nalang comment ko : CHEATERS NEVER WIN… haha pero sobrang nasasad na ako nung awarding na… un nga… the last… and after that katulad na kami ng mga alumni na kumukuha ng gate pass para makapasok… ouch! But it’s the sad reality :( second pala was to make it sa final battle.. yes we did arrived but kasi imbes na 10 mins. Yung quarter eh naging 7 mins. Nalang kaya ayun… haay.. sayang… but it was a great game kahit na medyo biased na naman.. nag enjoy nalang… it was MY LAST GAME SA HIGHSCHOOL. Yeah parang million times ko ng sinasabi yun. Haha.. basta I hate red team! Basketball boys… kitang kita naman na tinutulak ni aljon si melvern pero walang tumatawag ng foul!! UNFAIR TALAGA!! Boo jonas!! I thought we were friends!! Huhuh.. bute nalang nalampaso ng yellow ang red sa volleyball boys.. twice to beat ang red kaya nga twice silang na beat!! HAHAHAAHAHHA… bute nga..!


sus,, nagtest kami sa UST non noh and usapan was 5:00 am. Tama ba naming dumating si wen ng 5:30 haay,,, pero naku muntikan ng sumulapo yung van sa bilis ng speed namen kaya by quarter to 7 eh nandun na kami.. sobrang punong-puno ng tao ha. Oiun edi I joined the long line na,, nawala pa ako… odd ang room no. ko but I ended up going sa mga even numbered rooms. Hay tangang jacq talaga. Well yun nga, edi pumasok na sa loob ng rooms.. there were 2 aircons and 2 ceiling fans na nakaon and naka 26 yata yung lamig ng aircon kaya sobrang lamig na lamig talaga ako!! Brrr… namanhid na ata yung kamay ko. Ouin ulet, start na,,, mayroon akong katabing Koreans on either side of me,,, ahayy,,, ang lucky noh!! Pero wrong,,, sobrang bagal pumick up ng instructions!! 4 by 4 sila!! Ayun.. yung test ok lang, parang seatwork… haha dyanang tas di ako makakapasa nian eh!!haha,, tas pupunta dapat kami sa rob galleria eh ang layo pala nun! Nag sm san lazaro nalang kami. At ang mahal ng taxi ha!! Parang lalagnatin ako nun!! Haha. Napagod kami sa kakalibot sa sm tas akala pa namen walang food court. Pero diba imposible naming walang food court sa sm? Diba? Haha tas nag national bookstore kame.. dun kame for like 3 hours? Nakibasa ng libre sa mga magazing bukas (hmm… pwede kaya talagang buksan yun?) tas yun… tas I helped odie picked the perfect shade (the perfect shade) for the ballroom the next day kasi wala SIYANG SENSE OF FASHION totoo lang. haha tas yun may nasira pa akong mannequin tanong nio nalang kayna wengalurch.. haha tas balik USTE na.. taxi na naman ulit haay!! Tas hinahanap namen yung swimming pool, di namen Makita tas nakita namen sakto si Justine.. ang bilis niyang natapos… ahehhe tas yun libot ulit ng mga 3x sa uste na napakahaba tsaka nagdecide na kumain sa mcdo. Ayun,balik ulit kami.. tas yun, naghanap na kami ng bus.. whoohoo din amen Makita yung victory liner!! Natatakot na nga si Justine eh tas kung saan lang pala kame pumasok.. doon din kame tatawid ulit!! Haay tanga tanga talaga!! Tas nakipagpatintero kami sa mga humaharurot na kotse and finally nasa terminal na kami… lahat kame ay hinihingal tas pinagpapawisan ng malamig.haha tas alam nio may seating arrangement!! At ako ang walang katabi.. maiyak iyak nga ako eh..! bute nalang katext ko si gem na kanina nung nasa ust kame eh pinipilit akong pumunta sa gyn para makita ang kanyang dorm hahahahah! Oiun.. haay salamat natapos din ang kwentong toh!


haay,, confused din ako ngayon about my feelings for 2 persons. Basta parang I like this boy tas gusto ko din yung brother niya. Tas yun.. both are so sweet naman to me… lagi silang nandyan for me but the problem is may isang guy na nagsabi ng I love you sakin pero wala naman siyang ginagawa! Tas he’s leaving na for the states.. eh gulo noh?? Parang walang connection.. eh basta yun nay un. Si mr. Antonio nalang,, uy may pekture nia ako!! dali click na to see him!!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


i feel so tired and yet i seem not to finish anything sensible... is it right to feel that way? hey, maybe it's just one of the so called "bad days".... katatapos lang ng preliminaries namen and so far so good... except english... hayy,,, date my grades are literally thrown out sa outer space sa taas and now kahit ata sa gravity eh hindi papasa.. awwww...

...............i feel so depressed........................
ENGLISH had always been my favorite and now... arrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhh...
(all i can do now is cry, yah know?!

even economics was BAD, thanks to you dear graph analysis.. you sure know how to make me feel miserable.... yadda yadda yadda...

ok.. quite the nonsense na.. stop blabbering,,,

...............biorythm time na but im done! seriously... AN ACCOMPLISHMENT!

yipee.. something to hurray naman,,,

(eii.. bat yaw magupload ng pix and blogger ko?!)

Friday, September 29, 2006


It’s such as stormy day today. Signal no. 3 ngayon sa manila at pampanga which means walang pasok. Yes!

…….i know it’s mean to wish that “milenyo” would be so hard especially when I know that a lot of people are suffering it’s bad effects, are losing their homes and God forbid even their lives. But just because im not really feeling its effects doesn’t mean I don’t feel it at all. Nyah. I notice a lot of sentence errors there but im too lazy to even edit them so I’ll just let them be.

*im so tired kahapon I thought I might need to be confined! Imagine playing basketball for three consecutive games lasting about 25 minutes each with only 3 minutes rest in between? Talk about exhaustion. Tas yung mga nakalaro pa naman were so aggressive sa bola. nung last Wednesday, when we played against najee, nag-eenjoy pa ako kasi mas madami pang tawa kaysa sa seriousness. Although we beat them,,, obvious na wala lang. they just don’t care. Yung next game namen where we lost was just excusable dahil were playing with a guy na MVP lang naman ng basketball. Tas yung game 3 nga namen yesterday was so ewan. One girl was so aggressive na naka-jumpball na niya lahat ng kateamates ko including me. talagang nang-aagaw ng bola but it’s ok lang naman. We still finished victorious! The game 4 was one of the most intense games talaga kasi they are very serious in winning. Although meg and I suffered injuries this time, we never let our team down. Sobrang bagsik ng defense ni mariel that there was LITERALLY no way for you to pass the ball. I love her for that! Tas naman **** and *** were parang galit nag galit na talagang inaagaw na yung bola. that happened so many times that’ s why we always have the turnovers which obviously made us again the winner. I actually felt like I shoved something down their necks hahah! Game 5 was again a funny game kasi relax nalang kami. We even made tesa shoot the ball eh. Haha. Basta yun.

MORAL: some people will literally kill you just to win one measly game.

….im eating an ice cream today!

Monday, September 25, 2006

To do list for today:
September 25, 2006

*test in physics
*test in CLE
*test in English
*long test in economics
*passing of Filipino essay
*do the English project
*doing the dumb computer project
*graded recitation plus seatwork in trigonometry

Four test…. five home works …. One night…. One jacq…. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Hellday starts from here…


Monday, September 18, 2006


Ok.. two test down.. one or two more to go…. and all I can say is”

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyoooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

so when we arrived there, I was perspiring because the building was on fourth floor. (we later found out that there is an elevator but was broken) we were arranged alphabetically so I was assigned at seat 58 which was never easy to find then when I asked the I-thought-kind-lady, she snorted and said “anak, eto ang upuan mo, oh… katabi ng nakawhite diba?” grrrr… I wanted to kill her at the spot but ok I just sat. and then when I looked, the guy on my right was no other than butch! My classmate in up aguman review… but I didn’t say hi cause im feeling so much jitters. Hahaha.

Test started late because obviously, there are just some people who can’t tell the difference between 7:30 and 8am so yun. Tas when we were starting na, the instructor was speaking so fast that haay… basta… I was sited with my back against a huge aircon and slowly I felt it’s numbing effects!! Whaaaa……

English was ok but we were only given 40 minutes to answer 100 items and to think the articles are quite long and then we had the essay part for only 20 minutes. So much for order and logical thinking. Yay.

Next part was math but before that a girl at my right (who was so pretty, I could have been an instant lesbian) talked to me. she asked about my school and that got the ball rolling for us. She is actually very kind and soft-spoken. An ob Montessori girl that’s why she spoke perfect and straight English. Hehe. And oh math was shit!! As in super hard… algebra algebra algebra.. should have studied my sophomore lessons. There wasn’t a single geometry problem man lang!

After that was the easy-easy part na.. the aptitude test which includes logical, abstract reasoning, gen. knowledge reading comprehension.. these parts were fairly easy so both the ob girl (sam) and me started talking. We were reprimanded many times yet we kept talking hahaa…

Last test: numerical ability,, yay! 30 minutes to solve 25 items about age problem (although there are other kinds of problem, these stood out talaga!) na sobrang nosebleed!! Huhuhu.. one third of the cat and thrice the dog’s age.. blah blah blah…

I just wish that ateneo people would consider the fact that I am applying for a COMMUNICATION course and not MANAGEMENT ENGINEERING.

Oh well, im screwed…

Went to chowking and drowned every sorrow in a chaofan and siomai with odie’s century egg.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


Whoa. Time flies super fast and it’s September… BER months are here now,, and speaking of the nearing Christmas rush...I was in the mall when I heard “tayo na giliw, magsama na tayo….” Haha. And the wind is getting colder na… yaay..

Christmas is near na nga oh.

I can’t believe it that time can go that fast… parang kailan lang when I was vacationing my heart out in tagaytay and baguio and then school opened and then the centennial celebration and then before I knew it eto na… it’s September… Only 3 months before Christmas, 4 months before 2007, 5 months before valentines and prom and 6 months before my 17th birthday and finally,,, im saying goodbye to highschool forever. Oohh..

That sounds creepy.

Share ko lang: nung nag library period kami last tym, I got the chance to chat with the acts.. saya nga kase after 3 years, we are all classmates again.. (we are the star section then and now eh) oion.. in the words of ms. Pangan.. kahit na di tayo super close friends, bonded parin tayo by the memories.. totoo pala yun. The feeling when you step back in time to cherish and savor every bits of your past is so sweet I wish I could freeze it right there and there. Haha. Ang saya nun.

Like with this ms. Pangan. Ms. Pangan and I used to be BFF (I suppose you know what this means people!) until some wrecked memory brought havoc and tinted our innocent friendship. We didn’t talked for almost 2 years and it was in freshmen when we finally allowed ourselves to lower our pride and apologize for whatever happened then. Even I, myself cannot remember what exactly is the reason that caused our fight. It was a very petty fight yet hurtful words have to be said and promises have to be broken.

Three years later, ms. pangan and I are classmates for I guess the last time. I’m not her best friend anymore and so is she in my life today. But inspite of the huge gap that separated us apart, I know that what I am would partly be attributed to her, like it or not. I guess thats what people do to your life; they walked in, teach you a lesson or two and move on with their lives. I like to think that, that is exactly what happened to the two of us.

Thanks ms. Pangan..

I know it’s a bad analogy but you get the idea naman.
Today, mom talked to me about moving.

When I talk of moving here, it’s not an ordinary moving out of the house or neither moving from one location to another. It’s the kind of moving I tried so far to elude and never speak about. But I guess, I’d had to deal with it soon. (If my memory permits, I already wrote a post similar to this. Mga banding 2005 yun.)

She started by asking me how do I feel about going to another country and staying there for a huge chunk of time. I told her that I don’t know since that thought never even crossed my mind (WELL, IM LYING HERE OBVIOUSLY.). But I know that, that kind of answer would not suffice if im going to convince mom to just stay here. Ever since I graduated grade school, mom had been at my tail trying to sell me the idea that being in states with Lolo and Lola and with the rest of my huge clan is way better than what I have initially planned for my life. She told me that I AM lucky to be given an OPPORTUNITY like this cause some people literally kill themselves to be in my shoes right now. She reminded me of how I dream when I was young of being able to go to states and live there. She told me how better OUR life would be if we stay there. Most of all, she reminded me how much happier I would be.

Is it?

I would love to see a real snow on a real winter, yes. I would love to build snowmen and be able to skate and brush all the snow from the driveway. When I was young and na├»ve, I had dream of all these things from in states (in Harvard or Princeton, no less!) to being an Asian-am-girl. But somehow, these dreams are not my dreams anymore. They had become my mother’s. Life had changed me and my dreams that going to states now is a thing of the past for me. Maybe, had the OPPORTUNITY came at an earlier time, I might have gone for it. However, yesterday is different from today as it is to tomorrow. I have already dream of other dreams, which I am in pursuit right now. I already planned my life based on the PRESENT. What I have in mind for my life may not be the greatest thing in the world (in fact, it wont’t even come as close to going to states) but I know that in my heart, this is what I want and this would make me feel at my HAPPIEST but still I love mom very much.


p.s.: I’ve got a new haircut!! Yippee..

Monday, August 07, 2006

When all hell breaks loose.....

MMDA naman oh!!
Kanina, when we were going home, as usual dumaan kami sa shortest possible shortcut pauwi sa bahay namin. Eh umulan kanina ng matagal edi yun expected na baha pero naku sobra when we were passing talagang parang nagkaroon ng mini-river sa daan! And yung mga canals, naku you wouldn’t even notice na meron noh. Why? Kasi lang naman, water’s overflowing with it together with all the garbage and waste. As in kalevel na ang kalye (kung meron pa nga bang kalye) ang tubig-baha. Grrr.. tas mga ibang kaskasero na driver, sobrang bilis pang magpatakbo. Kawawa tuloy yung mga very unfortunate not to have mga windows or yung di lang nila nasara in time.

*whatever happened to the drainage system of angeles city?*

UPCAT disappoints me!

Whei, never thought I’d say this but “why is upcat like that?” totally way below than what I expected it to be. Oh, I dunno. Im not going to say it’s easy because it’s not but it’s not that hard either. Maybe have I taken it during my freshman year, I would have been able to answer most of the questions. It’s not as complicated as I expected to be. Whush. Now if only my wrongs aren’t that many,,,,,,,,,, I may have a chance. You see people, I didn’t leave any number BLANK. That’s because im not a loser who takes my chances that im just gonna all leave it to fate. I would rather have all my mistakes than to leave them blank knowing I could have answered it. Anyway, it’s 50-50 chance for me.

Nescafe… for your midnight reviews.
Started reviewing for my periodic test only at 7pm. Five minutes into it made me realize that I haven’t slept normally since Friday and it’s effect is taking its toll on me now. I initially planned to start reviewing math since it’s the hardest subject for a dummy like me but I also understand that if I am to continue with such impossibility, I might need 3 days to even finish so move on to CA fil. Ok. Im really starting to get lazy na so to make the short story even shorter, I finished everything and eventually have to return to dear mama math. So, the very “pampatagal-oras” attitude went alive and kicking at the moment. I went outside to have my drug, my pain reliever, my sunshine in that gloomy night, a warm cup of Nescafe (naks, pwedeng commercial) so yun. In between drinks, thank god, finally math showed itself to me. haha. Oyun, I finished at 12:40 and then remembering what adier said to me, I placed my notebook under my pillow! Haha. At about 1am, consciousness left me. I actually planned to wake up at 4am but then I was just so tired, I woke up 5:30am. Haha.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Life Lessons from Children

From the moment I stepped in the high school grounds, I knew that my life would never be the same again. Stepping into this level means leaving out my old life and welcoming the inevitable possibility of change.
Change actually upsets me for everything becomes different and unfamiliar to you. You feel light-headed and wobbly, as if suspended somewhere in the mid-air. But then, I also know that change is essential in order to move up to higher order of things.
The fear eventually led me into more dense and hurting moments, that is to experienced real pain. This pain came from the most unlikely people, events and time. A pain that only those person who mean so much in my life, personality, heart and soul can cause. I tried to do everything and anything for them in the hope that I might find what I’ve been searching for and what specifically that something is… I used to hold on to everything I thought defined me—my memories, my friendships, my relationships—so tightly. It took so much energy, I hardly had anything left to invest in other things that matter. It was breaking my heart to leave any of it behind, but I knew some things had to go—or I wouldn’t be able to move on to my next destination. I just realize that most suffering that people experience is about the same as what you’d feel when you stick your hand on fire. It hurts like hell and you want to pull it out. But it’s amazing how often people would continually stick their hand in an emotional fire and keep it there. Now, I realize that if I’m continually being hurt, it’s time for me to do something else.
Tired, hurt and exhusted from every pain that I have felt, I challenged myself to go on a journey-the one that I believe would finally set me free.
It was a trip that i had so many times rejected. Probably, back then, I didn’t see the need for it or I was just too distracted to even hear my heart whisper these kind of things. It was tough leaving everything familiar to me not because I can’t survive without them but because I have already given them fragments of my heart. It was a tough decision but then I chose to go. Finding the destination was the easiest part since I already know where to go. Now is the perfect time for me to go back into the world of childhood and see life again in the eyes of a child. The children at the “bahay-ampunan” in our province helped me do so. And what I saw was like a well spring of refreshing energy. It’s life at it’s simple best stripped of trimmings, complexities and sophistication.
In my stay there, people would say that the children remains to be the best models we have here. I can be told that a thousand times over and I’ll never question why. These children meet life with spontaneity, creativity, a lot of purity in loving and caring. Even in letting go, we should learn from the children for they teach us to be free-spirited open and relax. With them, once more I learned how to have fun and flung all cares to the wind.
These children taught me how to forgive and forget and move on. Many times I scold and get angry at them but when I meet them again they have the same sweetness and smiles. They are not afraid to see life from other perspectives which I have been so afraid to do myself. How I wish that I still haven’t lose the capacity to dream so that happy realities can still come by. I now came to accept that failures will always be part of life. Challenges come and go to make us all stronger. Mistakes are not necessarily errors for growth is a process of trial and error. So as long as we keep the lessons, we can never have a “bad mistake”.
Suddenly because of these children, I have a map. But this time there are no signs or roads to follow. The direction is now being whispered to me gently, it was the music that finally set me free from every pain and suffering I took from the emotional fire. The song pierced through me and freed my soul, who have been imprisoned for so long. It was now clear where I wanted to be. I now found myself travelling back a familiar route: back home. The lost music finally regained it’s voice in my heart when I finally got away from my old life. Thanks to these children who helped me try to believe again like I believe when I was their age… when your heart tells you everything you need to know. Hopefully, with their accompaniment, I’d be singing it for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


1.The emotion I tend to hide the most=SADNESS…

2.When I'm happy, I need=TO GET A LIFE!!

3.When I'm sad, I need=A WARM HUG, CHOCOLATES

4.When I'm sentimental, I need:=MY MEMORY BOX AND PROBABLY

5.When I'm in love

6.I would jump up & down and shout w/joy right now if someone told me:

7.The last time I cried was:=JUST RECENTLY. xoxo!

8.Moment in my life whenmy emotions froze and I felt absolutelynothing:

9.People who genuinely make you happy:

10.Something that makes me happy:

11.Someone or something that mademe laugh this week:

12.Your Good Luck Charm

13. Person You Hate Most:

14. On my desk:

15. What do you notice first with theopposite sex:

16. Last person you slow danced with:

17.Makes you laugh the most

18.Makes you smile:

19.Can make you feel better:

Monday, July 24, 2006


One Voice Position Paper
WE DON’T NEED THE PROPOSED CHARTER CHANGE.WE NEED REAL CHANGE.(A proposal to address the political impasse)

Why we are speaking out now

We are a non-partisan movement of citizens who are very concerned about the political developments in our country since EDSA I and more recently in the aftermath of the 2004 elections. We see our country divided when we should be united around peaceful and democratic processes. Many of us have not participated in rallies and demonstrations for or against the President. Some of us have joined street protests. But all of us agree that most of the solutions that have so far been offered to address the political situation appear to serve personal or group interests more than the common good, and even endanger rather than strengthen our democratic institutions. The latest of these “solutions” is the “people’s initiative” to shift from a presidential system with a bicameral legislature to a parliamentary system with a unicameral legislature.
For our people, many of whom are poor, it is often not clear how these political alternatives will make a difference in their lives. We are concerned that there is a growing alienation, even distrust, of our democratic institutions and of our national leaders, in and out of government. The future of our democracy itself may be at stake, and it will take all of us, speaking out together, if we are going to be heard.
Our Proposal
We propose a 5-step process through the following:
1. Discontinuance of the present “people’s initiative”;2. A social reform program now;3. Elections in 2007 as scheduled, as an indirect referendum, and electoral reform now;4. If necessary, a constitutional convention (not a “con-ass”) after the 2007 elections, and5. A collective effort to rebuild the trustworthiness of our democratic institutions.
First, discontinue the present Initiative – We appeal to the proponents of the people’s initiative, especially the President, to please rethink this move. Not only is it questionable as a genuine “people’s initiative” but in the context of our current political culture and structure, the kind of parliamentary system being proposed will tend to worsen the concentration of political power in the country. Legally flawed. The Initiative is a divisive exercise that has very little chance of being legally upheld. The Supreme Court has already said that there is no adequate enabling law to support an Initiative to amend the Constitution. We also share the opinion of legal experts that, even if there were, a drastic overhaul of the political structure of government is a “revision” that is not contemplated by the Constitution as subject to an Initiative.
Based on fallacious and deceptive reasoning. We are told by its proponents that the shift to a parliamentary system will open the doors to political stability and economic prosperity. This despite the lack of conclusive empirical evidence to show that such a form of government is the answer to our specific problems. On the contrary, studies that attempt to explain the complex issue of growth differentials among countries cite government policies as the most relevant factors for the differentials. The form of government, whether parliamentary or presidential, is not indicated as a material factor. There are countries that are doing better or worse than ours which happen to have a parliamentary system.
Moreover, when all the political implications of the proposed shift is examined in the context of the relatively high concentration of political power in Philippine society today, our citizens will come to a disturbing conclusion – that the shift to the proposed parliamentary system will result in even more power to those who already have it, with the following:
Taking away from the people their power to directly vote for President - and leaving the Parliament to choose the Prime Minister from among themselves;
Fusing the Executive and Legislative as well as the two chambers of Congress into a unicameral parliament (to also include cabinet members with a portfolio) thus removing certain systemic checks and balances of the presidential system and resulting in more political domination by the ruling party;
Authorizing an Interim Parliament to introduce more amendments (followed by yet another plebiscite), some of which may not even be known to the people today. Once the cha-cha train assumes plenary powers, with something for everyone, it will be difficult to stop. It can even amend the Transitory Provisions themselves and extend its own life and the terms of national and local government officials beyond 2010. Other amendments contemplated intend to:a) Weaken the Supreme Court, which would remain as the principal check and balance to a powerful parliament, by (i) removing its power and duty to review the sufficiency of the factual basis for declaring martial law, (ii) increasing the vote required to declare unconstitutional a presidential decree or executive order, among others, from a majority to a 2/3 vote, and (iii) removing its power and duty to determine whether or not there has been grave abuse of discretion on the part of any branch or instrumentality of government.b) Restore the power of the President to declare martial law on “imminent danger” of rebellion – a phrase which President Marcos used to declare martial law.
Many other claims of the proponents of the Initiative are not borne out by the facts. For instance, the claim that the economic provisions of the Constitution on land ownership, public utilities, natural resources, media and advertising have closed the doors to beneficial foreign direct investment (FDI). Not only has the 1987 Constitution proven to be resilient to the demands of the times but surveys of foreign investors repeatedly show that the critical factors to FDI are infrastructure, human capital, quality of policies and stability of the regulatory framework, peace and order, among others. Nowhere is amending the economic provisions considered among the really critical.
Businessmen proponents say, “if it is possible to do so, because we are opening up the Constitution to amendments anyway, why not?” But introducing amendments just because every other interest group intends to is precisely the reason why we should think more deeply about the consequences of opening up our fundamental law to amendments. It may well be that, because of the entrenched interests of those in power today, the provisions that really help the poor, such as the Social Justice provisions, will be the first victims of an “open season” on amendments.
We are open to a sober review of our Constitution, but we must look at it as something bigger than any individual or group interest, and that nothing can be so urgent as to rush any amendment, much more revision, without fully considering all its implications and consequences.

Second, a social reform program now.
Too many uncertainties and potential dangers are implied by the current hasty efforts to change the constitution. Yet there are real and urgent problems that confront our people on a daily basis. As part of the over-all approach, a social reform program can immediately be undertaken as a constructive bi-partisan effort to move forward Moreover, such a program, gives the greater number of our people, especially the poor, a bigger stake in our democracy, and increases the trustworthiness of our institutions and politicians.
There is nothing in our present system that prevents our national leaders from addressing social reform immediately because the principles are already embodied in Article XIII (on Social Justice) and related provisions of the 1987 Constitution. The components of this agenda, which the Legislative-Executive Development Advisory Council can agree to enact through specific legislation, if necessary, and which all parties can agree to implement as a non-partisan agenda, regardless of who is in power, may include:
Legislation to provide strong safety nets for the poor with market liberalization, which were promised to the people and covered by congressional resolutions but were never legislated nor implemented, especially in the areas of education, health, housing, employment, and food security. Likewise, strict implementation of environmental laws and, with respect to agrarian reform, the provision of support services, especially credit, as well as effective police security to beneficiaries to fulfill the vision of rural development.
A serious and sustained campaign against graft and corruption with appointments to and support for the agencies in the forefront of the campaign, such as the Office of the Ombudsman, the Commissions on Audit, Civil Service, and Elections. A transparent and public system of nomination for these positions should be formally instituted.
Legislation for greater political empowerment such as amendments to the party-list law to make it possible to reach the 20% representation in Congress of party-list representatives prescribed by the Constitution, the enactment of a law to implement the constitutional provisions on anti-dynasty and sectoral representation in the local sanggunians, the amendment of the absentee voting law to enable wider participation of Filipinos abroad, anti-turncoat legislation, and others.
At the heart of this program should be an unequivocal orientation towards a better life for all. It must set in place a system that would develop and nurture leaders with a strong sense of the common good, integrity, nationalism, and competence. Pockets of growth and development, especially at the community or local government levels, while good in themselves, can only go so far. These can be made lasting only when supported by a national system that promotes the same values for growth and development, accompanied by justice and equity.

Third, elections in 2007 as scheduled, as an indirect referendum, and electoral reform now.
The 2007 congressional and local elections should be held as scheduled. This is a constitutional mandate.
We do not agree with those who say that there was closure with the dismissal of the impeachment complaint last year. But neither do we agree with those who say that the dismissal has closed the door to any closure. Both miss the point of the accountability system in our Constitution - in a democracy, the terminal point in that system is the vote of its citizens. That is why the holding of the 2007 elections is non-negotiable. And why both the administration and the opposition should work together, if not on anything else, then on electoral reform. A credible 2007 elections can become an indirect referendum on the issue of whether the President should serve her full term, depending on how people choose their congressmen and senators, and how those elected exercise their mandate. Both sides should be willing to trust the people and their judgment as expressed in the election, regardless of the consequences to themselves. That is what democracy is all about.
As regards electoral reform, the presidential adviser on electoral reforms recommended as a priority the “revamp” of the Commission on Elections. That recommendation refers both to the commission itself and to the organization; and to a modernization program that is cost-effective and suitable to the problems of our system, for which the present automation law should be amended.
As a minimum, there must be at least four independent commissioners. Hence the importance of filling the last two vacancies in the Commission with persons of unquestioned integrity and competence. And competence must not be limited to “law”. Because elections are more a matter of management, not of law - a fact recognized by the Constitution in requiring that only four of the seven commissioners must be lawyers, including the Chairman. There is an opportunity for the President and the Commission on Appointments, which share responsibility for the quality of the appointees, to strengthen the commission’s capability in other disciplines necessary to modernize the system.
This administration should at least provide the conditions for a credible “indirect referendum” in 2007. Beyond that, any drastic overhaul of the Constitution should not take place until the people are convinced that the electoral system is totally trustworthy. Elections is a fundamental building block of any democracy. How can the administration, which has yet to deliver on a promise to modernize the electoral system by the 2004 elections, even talk about changes in the structure of government?

Fourth, if necessary, a constitutional convention (not a “con-ass”) after the 2007 elections.
Because of the present climate of distrust and confrontation and the composition of those in political power, the best way to consider the merits of a major revision in our form of government, while allowed to be done by Congress, is through a Constitutional Convention, with a broad representation of Philippine society. And any decision to convene must be preceded by a massive education campaign and national dialogue. This is a process that cannot be rushed.
Changes by a “con-ass” will always be suspect. There are various interest groups promoting their own amendments which can be the subject of back-room dealings, political trade-offs, even corruption, because these will involve huge economic or political gains. In that kind of a process, where dealings can be done piecemeal like ordinary legislation and in private, the great majority of the people who are poor, will have no voice. A constitutional convention, on the other hand, is conducted in public and continuous proceedings before the full glare of media and public scrutiny.
Moreover, in the interest of transparency, any major change in political structure must be held after the 2007 elections and should not benefit those presently in power. If, however, there is found to be a need for specific provisions that can qualify as amendment (i.e. a run-off for president, block voting for president and vice-president, amending an economic provision) these can be done by Initiative, for which Congress must first pass an enabling law.
Fifth, a collective effort to rebuild trust in our democratic institutions, our leaders and in ourselves.
Governance is not only about how the president makes decisions or how the resources of a country are managed, it is also about our collective responsibility to solve our problems and meet society needs. Unfortunately, a preoccupation with the fate of one person sometimes distracts us from long-term institution-building.
Presidents come and go; but our institutions are our lifeline to the future. We must restore their trustworthiness and strengthen them. Even when our democracy is not in its best behavior, even when it is cumbersome and time-consuming, our democracy works. But we need to make it work better to make a difference in people’s lives.
There are many more ways by which our leaders can help achieve this objective and thereby address the growing distrust of our democratic institutions, for as long as the common good is their primary objective and not political survival, continuance in office, or taking power for its own sake. For our part, we have an open mind to all proposals, including a review and possible amendments to or revision of our Constitution. If our leaders – in government, in the opposition and in civil society - give us reasons to begin trusting them again, we can also begin to trust in one another and in ourselves as well.
[i] See for instance studies by Jeffrey Sachs[ii] Some examples are: liberal interpretation of what constitutes capital for purposes of applying the limit of 40% foreign ownership in certain industries (SEC ruling on PLDT); legally allowed “supermajority” votes on key stockholder decisions (i.e. declaration of dividends); creative financial instruments (i.e. global depositary receipts); leases of up to 75 years on land; legislation like the condominium law on housing and, if passed into law, the proposed condominium law on industrial estates; redefinition of the boundaries of an industry (RA 9136 limits electric utilities to the “wires” business, thus allowing 100% foreign ownership in the generation and supply businesses); making the legal distinction between a franchise and a concession with respect to foreign participation in public utilities; judicial decisions (i.e. Mining Law). Moreover, technological developments have overtaken the “content” issue with respect to the 100% Filipino ownership in media by easy access to foreign programs, and in the case of print media, by the importation of foreign published newspapers or the reprint of foreign content in local newspapers under the freedom of the press provision.

GREENPEACE began with a small group of individuals who decided to get together to protest against nuclear testing at Amchitka, off the west coast of Alaska. They went on to form GREENPEACE and later initiated campaigns on major environmental issues. One of the founding principles of GREENPEACE is to "bear witness" - that is to watch and record environmental destruction. This principle of direct action together with peaceful confrontation, has been the cornerstone of GREENPEACE's campaigns.
Southeast Asia is of enormous significance to the future of the planet earth. The rich natural heritage of the region is worth protecting in its own right. However, the staggeringly rapid industrialization and economic growth of the past 30 years has come at a huge environmental cost. The environmental impacts of the region also stretch beyond their own national boundaries. Severe environmental degradation already exists across Southeast Asia. Apart from the recent Asian financial crisis, pollution and resources destruction are further intensifying as multinational companies and industrialized nations target the region for the expansion of their environmentally destructive operations and technologies. Reinforcing these problems is the lack of awareness among the Asian public about environmental destruction and weak democratic mechanisms to empower communities to influence decisions. Recognizing the importance of the developmental potential and threats in these areas, and in order to consolidate and expand its campaign work in Southeast Asia, Greenpeace is increasing its activities in the region.
Greenpeace is already active in many part of Asia. Our work in the region has included stopping hazardous waste imports, opposing radioactive shipments, campaigning against forest destruction, lobbying governments on sustainable energy issues and drawing attention to the dangers of waste incinerations. Often working with other local groups, Greenpeace has run successful campaigns in the Philippines, Taiwan, India, and Indonesia. We made a commitment to develop a presence in Asia in late 80s and early 90s, and first established an office in Japan (1989) and then China (1997). Initial investigations were also initiated in SEA, focusing primarily on Indonesia and Philippines.
Southeast Asia is in a key position to determine global environmental security. Over the past 30 years, Greenpeace has successfully campaigned in industrialized countries to reduce and eliminate environmental pollution and degradation. However, these efforts and many achievements can easily be reversed as these same multinational companies export dirty technologies resulting in environmental degradation in the region. Hence, after many years of investigations and establishing campaign presence in key countries, Greenpeace finally succeeded in opening an office in the region. Greenpeace Southeast Asia was formally established on March 1, 2000.

ay naku... nothing new to post..
walang klase ngayon and i have 2 major test tomorrow... physics and math... tas UPCAT is getting nearer and nearer yet wala pa rin akong nirereview,,,, asa ko pa kasing pumasa ako dun noh!!!

well, eto nalang:

1. You are mostly known as? The girl who had long hair for as long as everyone remembered. Gaad what a reputation to uphold!

2. Most people think you are? well… I’d like to think that they think of me as kind and approachable but I think it’s the other way around eh..

3. Do you believe in soulmates? oh hell yes… I had already found mine! Though it isn’t really that type of quixotic soulmate!

4. Do you think love is always enough? Back then, when the world was young that could be the case but it’s just now I came to grasp the reality that love isn’t always enough.

5. Single or taken? im dangerously single!!

6. Are you still friends with your ex/s? before yes but now.. it’s not possible

7. Unforgettable letters that you ever received? Lots of them eh… from my friends down to those simple “practice later after class meeting place: mcdo”

8. Who is your biggest crush? chris tiu

9. First crush in college? yet to be realized!!

10. First favorite song? dami eh. Whatver flows in my mind

11. Favorite soundtrack?a walk to remember-made me cry a thousand times and counting

12. The latest band/singer that u like?like? Mabuhay ang OPM bands!!

13. Boy bands? When I was young.. I am in love with westlife!

14. Rock bands?refer to question no. 12

15. Give one word that best describes what you're feeling now?longing.

16. Person who is always there when you're bored? najee boo!!

17. Name 5 people you saw yesterday. najee, mariel, celine, mr. A, ryan

18. When you were little, what did you want to be? oh.. I simply wish to grow up..

19. Who did you last go out with? go out?? Well.. we did an ambush interview last week.. does that count?

20. Who was the last person to text you? dhoi.

21. What time did you sleep last night?12:30am

22. What's your happy thought? I know that the person who could make me happy will forever be with me-even if it’s just in my dreams.

23. What makes you happy? refer to question no. 22

24. What makes you sad? refer to question no. 22

25. What would you like to have right at this very second that seems totally impossible? refer to question no. 22

Friday, July 21, 2006

This is my own case of puppy love. His name is Paolo ***** hehe... pao-pao for short. I think i love him more than i loved anyone else... am i crazy? He's just so adorable and sweet so i guess that's an excuse!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Forgotten love notes
Part 2

As I continue my life today, I find myself alone again.. and it’s raining! It is in this moments that I begin to question over and over again stuffs… things… memories.. Yeah I know it’s been countless times and still... it feels like im not going to put a stop to this. It’s so damn hard to let you just go! Well... not yet… for now. Im not ready to do so but perhaps, one day.

Can you experience the pain? Can you sense the anguish hidden in my heart? Can you feel the coldness you brought me now when you caressed my face? When im conscious, so many feelings are vividly on my mind. I tried to close my eyes and will myself to forget them but no, I cannot… because you put them there. To stay and let me feel.

You know you never left me. You never left my life. You were there when I dream of beautiful flowers, blue clouds and delightful butterflies. You are the first thing that I remember after I slumber. My last thought before drifting off to sleep. And even when I sleep, no you never depart… you were there… gazing at me. My dreams are always full of images of only you. Why is it that even in my sleep, you never let me rest? You said you were leaving me but you lied. So I run off to wherever but the effort was futile. Your face constantly haunts me and pursues me anywhere I go. why is there no escaping? why oh why??

I haven’t stopped crying since that day. The dirge that I felt at that time is still as intense as now. You know why? Just because.

And this is how I will always feel... I’d still give up tomorrow for our past, just that one past. I’ll be forever sorry. Forever sorry.

It’s still raining and this is how it will always be.

*I can’t continue any longer than this.. I think im gonna cry non-stop.. well what’s new? When it comes to you I always do..

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Forgotten Love notes

How I wish I can make time flew back. Back to where everything can just stay frozen forever. I want to capture and savor every keepsake so I won’t be left alone when moments like these come. I want everything to stay just the way they are but sadly, that can never happen. All I can do is let these wonderful things slipped away. To let them leave me until even their shadow can’t be seen. All I can do is watch.. as little by little they eradicate whatever life and joy was left in me. All I can do is cry… as I let HIM walk out of my door, my life, my soul… and my life.

You’re there…but not really
I never really had you
So I never lost you..
I think this is how we shall always be..
I had you…
You had me…
But not really…

Memories of my once true love envelop me greatly today. A bittersweet feeling of everything we had together is coming in swirling circles and making me cry…. repeatedly for nth time. I can’t stop them. I know because I’ve tried. They just seem to be continuous.. Never stopping.. Never ending…

“So you will be going now
Starting on a journey far away
Your eyes will enjoy your trip
Many things you will behold
But I who will stay behind
Here in this four-walled room
What thoughts will I entertain?
Just looking at the roof
Just looking down at the floor
Missing every little piece of you
My heart shall forever be melancholy
For all the years that shall keep us apart”

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Hail young benedict!

Whohooo,, ang saya!!! Panalo ang section namin sa major integration for this quarter!!! The theme is st. benedict and we did a play about him!!! Every hirap and pagod and puyat na ibinigay naming ay nagbunga na!!!

Some nakakatawang moments:

*Princess’ dedicate dialogue
* “oh god of man!”
*odie’s hard fall
*the black bird
* Temptress
*the devil’s laugh
*bread of life
*death scene
* dhoi’s pathetic old fool
actually nakakatawa lahat so yun,, lahat nlang!!

oh! Oo nga pala, yung 3 judges ay mga teachers naming!!! Hahaha lokong mga yun okray ng okray tas kami rin pala ang gusto!! Well, yung isa naman fair, di cia nagcomment ng kahit ano knowing na isa nga siya sa mga judges.. tas nung inaanounce na “garnering an average of 93% with one judge giving them a perfect score is………………… (people in the background are shouting for our name na) none other IV-ACTS!!!!!!!!!”
oh sosyal,,, nakaperfect kami ha!! Love na love kami ng teacher na iyun!! Love you ms. Pat! Hahah

pati c mommy tricia proud samin!!!

p.s. sa susunod na ang pictures!!!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

*kinikilig ako*

one afternoon

HIM: “yes Jackie”
(I hate being called Jackie since it connotes sugary sweet image)
ME: (I didn’t say anything rather look at his almond shaped eyes)
HIM: “you don’t like Jackie?”
ME: “no po..”
HIM: “bat ayaw mo ng Jackie?”
ME: heheh…. (I simply smiled and he returned it naman!!)

And still one afternoon

HIM: “Jackie..”
ME: (looks up to him and gives him the same cute look) haha am I flirting here??
CLASSMATES: “whhhhhhhhoooooooooooyyyyyyy” haha
HIM: “ayaw mo ng Jackie? Gusto ko ang Jackie eh!”
ME: “ows talaga?? damn! Ako din… I like you!!!!!!!!” (of course, sa isip ko lang ito!)


para sa iyo!! Jackie na lang!! haha… ano ba ito??

Crazy jacq. Pheww..

Thursday, June 22, 2006

jacq_licup: pangetodie_pineda_2002: the nun!
jacq_licup: haha excited na ako!
odie_pineda_2002: read my status! bwahahaha
odie_pineda_2002's status is now "I don't know which is more stupid... This message or YOU reading it !!!! Bwahahaha ". (6/19/2006 5:51 PM)

jacq_licup: syempre ang mas stupid
jacq_licup: ikaw
odie_pineda_2002: dalawa lang ang choices ah!
jacq_licup: ah 2 lang ba?
odie_pineda_2002: kadiri ang baho sa lugar namin!
odie_pineda_2002: mag-aaply ka ba sa ateneo?
jacq_licup: ako ateneo?
jacq_licup: di na kailangan
jacq_licup: honorary member ako dun!
odie_pineda_2002: bkit?
jacq_licup: magaling ako..
jacq_licup: sa sobrang galing ako
odie_pineda_2002: ??????
jacq_licup: pasado na ako dunjacq_licup: magpaparty pa sila dahil na isipan kong magpunta dun
odie_pineda_2002: wow!
jacq_licup: haha
jacq_licup: woww nyeta
odie_pineda_2002: UST?
jacq_licup: oo may dinner ako dun
odie_pineda_2002: haha...
odie_pineda_2002: di ka mag-aaply dun?
jacq_licup: dun din... kulet mat dinner nga ako eh
odie_pineda_2002: meron na yatang application...
jacq_licup: oh?
jacq_licup: really?
jacq_licup: oooooooohhhhhhhh
odie_pineda_2002: download lang yata e... di ako sure... titingnan ko muna...
jacq_licup: oo kung dw meron
jacq_licup: duetsgndkq
jacq_licup: odie!!!!!!!
odie_pineda_2002: punyemas! bakit di sila nagu-update???!!!! 2005 pa yung year e!
odie_pineda_2002: tignan mo nga to...
odie_pineda_2002: tymout...
jacq_licup: oo matagal na yan
jacq_licup: hhahaaaa
odie_pineda_2002: anong ginagamit mong version para sa y.m mo?
jacq_licup: eh?
jacq_licup: ewan.........
jacq_licup: version ni jacq lagu
odie_pineda_2002: update mo naman para makapagsend ako ng files
jacq_licup: eh?
jacq_licup: di ko lam pano?
jacq_licup: hhaha
jacq_licup: im a dumb
odie_pineda_2002: punta ka sa yahoo... tpos download mo dun yung bagong YM... iclick mo yung YM dun sa taas
jacq_licup: eh tamad po
odie_pineda_2002: para naman kasing ang daming clicks no!
jacq_licup: eh basta ano ba sesend mo?
odie_pineda_2002: yung application form sa ust
jacq_licup: eh bakit pa?
jacq_licup: pag print mo nalang ako
odie_pineda_2002: eh... nagtopak na naman printer ko~!
jacq_licup: hah save mo tas paprint naten!
odie_pineda_2002: k fijne
jacq_licup: haha
jacq_licup: naku walang sense
jacq_licup: hehe visit mo the nun website
odie_pineda_2002: cnong patron saint mo?
jacq_licup: ikaw nga eh!
jacq_licup: makulet ka!
jacq_licup: ur so stupid
jacq_licup: hhehe
odie_pineda_2002: ???????
jacq_licup: di ko kilala patrones ko
odie_pineda_2002: kailan b-day mo?
jacq_licup: march 14 nyeta sandali
odie_pineda_2002: dali.
odie_pineda_2002: wow naman puro natural causes ang kamatayan ng lahat ng patron saints mo
jacq_licup: ano?
jacq_licup: haha like?
jacq_licup: dali mag lologout na ako
odie_pineda_2002: illness... st.matilda,
odie_pineda_2002: basta puro natural maliban sa martyrs of Valeria
jacq_licup: that better be good cge una na po ako! mwah
jacq_licup: see yah! godoric
jacq_licup: mwah!
odie_pineda_2002: bye
odie_pineda_2002: (@)

hentaigod_van: pssst
jacq_licup: ?
hentaigod_van: pssst
hentaigod_van: cno ka?
jacq_licup: who are u
hentaigod_van: who are u
hentaigod_van: lol im van
jacq_licup: van hu?
hentaigod_van: van dont remember me?
jacq_licup: no
hentaigod_van: you hurt my feelings jacq
jacq_licup: im sori but i really don't
hentaigod_van: how bout carlo?
hentaigod_van: V
jacq_licup: magno?
jacq_licup: oh sori !
hentaigod_van: lol
jacq_licup: naku naman i didn't realize it was u!
jacq_licup: akala ko some mean freak na nakikipagewan!
hentaigod_van: hehe
hentaigod_van: ahh
hentaigod_van: lol
jacq_licup: hoy madaling araw pa !
hentaigod_van: sup jacq
jacq_licup: bat gising ka?
hentaigod_van: la lang
hentaigod_van: lol
jacq_licup: haha
jacq_licup: bakit nga?
hentaigod_van: di ako antok e...
jacq_licup: nakatulog kana?
hentaigod_van: yup
hentaigod_van: caffeinated pako
hentaigod_van: LOL
hentaigod_van: sup jacq?!
jacq_licup: mabute school sucks
jacq_licup: haha
hentaigod_van: oh? kit nman?
jacq_licup: ofcourse
jacq_licup: kelan ba hindi?
hentaigod_van: well, when you hang out and stuff
jacq_licup: i guess
jacq_licup: no when we hang out
jacq_licup: usually for projects and stuff then
hentaigod_van: ah
hentaigod_van: are you kidding? wlng lakwatsa?
hentaigod_van: lol
hentaigod_van: hoy gcng ka pa ba?
hentaigod_van: lol
jacq_licup: oo
jacq_licup: haha didnt see that!
jacq_licup: 6 dito
hentaigod_van: gabi right
jacq_licup: almost haha
hentaigod_van: ah...
hentaigod_van: i hear its hot there now
jacq_licup: totally as in putek
jacq_licup: well what's new
hentaigod_van: well uuwi ako...
hentaigod_van: u know that right
hentaigod_van: lol
jacq_licup: kelan pala?
hentaigod_van: hopefully july...
jacq_licup: tas? ul go to skul
hentaigod_van: of course
jacq_licup: hfa?
hentaigod_van: of course!
jacq_licup: ur late na nun?
jacq_licup: alam ba ng skul?
hentaigod_van: im late a year and 1 month LOL
hentaigod_van: yup
jacq_licup: ha??? explain
hentaigod_van: late ako kac 3rd yr ako...tpos late ako ng 1 moth kac july pko
jacq_licup: pano un?
hentaigod_van: baka kac hindi icocount ung year ko d2 kaya baka babalik akong 3rd year...
jacq_licup: ah oo ganun nga yung mangyayari
jacq_licup: wil they still accept u?
hentaigod_van: yes
jacq_licup: oh? bat alam mo?
hentaigod_van: tinanong na ng pengari ko...
jacq_licup: oh wow galing
hentaigod_van: ????......???!
jacq_licup: coolness
jacq_licup: hahha
hentaigod_van: whats up w/ u?
jacq_licup: me like what kind of up
hentaigod_van: high...
hentaigod_van: lol
jacq_licup: haha
jacq_licup: im ok
jacq_licup: faaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
hentaigod_van: really?
jacq_licup: kinda but not really
hentaigod_van: pic?
hentaigod_van: may pic ka?
jacq_licup: there oh
jacq_licup: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>>>>>.
hentaigod_van: cant see
jacq_licup: oh?
hentaigod_van: IM BLIND!
jacq_licup: haha
hentaigod_van: still cant see
jacq_licup: sus umuwi ka nalang
jacq_licup: the n u shall see
hentaigod_van: ?~~~?~~?~~(????)!
jacq_licup: why/.]
hentaigod_van: miss ko na
jacq_licup: ang?.
hentaigod_van: PINAS! anu pa ba!
hentaigod_van: LOL
jacq_licup: haha soru
jacq_licup: sori
jacq_licup: di malinaw eh
hentaigod_van: joke lang kaw naman
jacq_licup: haha ssurey]
hentaigod_van: huh?
jacq_licup: haha wla noh bat kasi july pa?
hentaigod_van: ewan ko nga eh...pinatatagl tlga nyang green card na yan...
hentaigod_van: alangya
jacq_licup: ha/.
jacq_licup: u have one na?
jacq_licup: that fsssssssssst
hentaigod_van: wla pa po
jacq_licup: ah okiesssssssss hehe
jacq_licup: dito ka magcocollege?
hentaigod_van: maybe...
jacq_licup: hhee wer/.
hentaigod_van: iono...san ung nursing? LOL
jacq_licup: ust
jacq_licup: hgaha
hentaigod_van: ah....
hentaigod_van: ust nlng
hentaigod_van: lol
jacq_licup: lol ka jan
hentaigod_van: anu ba ung lol
jacq_licup: laugh out loud goodness
hentaigod_van: goodness...mmmm
jacq_licup: haha
hentaigod_van: mmmmmm
jacq_licup: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
hentaigod_van: ok......................................
jacq_licup: hahha anong ok/
hentaigod_van: lol
hentaigod_van: wla po ^_^
jacq_licup: haha ok
hentaigod_van: so anung gngwa mo ngaun?
jacq_licup: surf
jacq_licup: bidy surf
jacq_licup: haha
hentaigod_van: bidy?
jacq_licup: body
jacq_licup: hahahaha
hentaigod_van: ah
hentaigod_van: body surf?!
jacq_licup: opo
hentaigod_van: anu po un?
jacq_licup: body sufing
jacq_licup: you move and stuffs hahahha
hentaigod_van: ok...parang maganda yan ah
hentaigod_van: moving...mmm
jacq_licup: yup yup
hentaigod_van: wlang lakad?
jacq_licup: wala im place lang
hentaigod_van: ah
jacq_licup: haha got to go na dinner tym!
jacq_licup: il see yah ok?
jacq_licup: mwahugs
hentaigod_van: oh cge
hentaigod_van: mwahugs rin
hentaigod_van: wag ka pataba lol
jacq_licup: i miss ur face like that devil!
hentaigod_van: ?????..........(???)
jacq_licup: ikaw din yan! miss yah!
hentaigod_van: everyone mises me
hentaigod_van: lol
jacq_licup: course
jacq_licup: cge~!
hentaigod_van: bye!
jacq_licup: oo na! hhaa
jacq_licup: ikaw talaga!
hentaigod_van: lol
hentaigod_van: kain ka na!
jacq_licup: oo na haha
jacq_licup: oo na haha
hentaigod_van: alis jan
hentaigod_van: lol joke
jacq_licup: bye na!

this are ym messages with two of my favorite people... they might seem useless and crazy but i still love them to bits.

the blank spaces would mean happy or whatever emo icon!!
Once upon a time when it was economics class, there was little jacq, hopelessly staring at her econ teacher and at the same time very happy because her day went super well!! (haha in between upcat and math works) but then...

the nasty librarian visited us and said that liitle jacq has to come to the principal's office with her calculator. little jacq was very sad and at the same time nervous! what the hell is going on!!

in between doubts and uncertainty little jacq went there and peeking at the small windows sge saw 2 unwanted unknown persons!!! those persons you prefer seeing dead and agonizing! what the hell are they doing here in her school? the nerve and thickness of face!

anyways she didn't mind them and went inside anyway and guess what???

the people looking for little jacq are the same as those waiting outside for her!!

what a cruel pathetic lame bait for her to have~

so she did the next big thing *******tooot******** (im sorry, just too personal to be retold,,, she stills get angry and tear eyed when i remember it)

and so little jacq went on her way, never looking back.............

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Happy birthday brother kylerz!!!

Sa economics class namin ngayong araw na ito ay lumabas ang mga salitang “pokpokers” “nagbebenta ng laman” (natawa ako dito) “nagpapagalaw” at “resibo para sa mga kumuha ng serbisyo ng mga prostutuite” (natawa ulit ako dito). Obviously eh eco nga, mga problem ang ating bansang lubos na minamahal at patuloy na naghihirap. Phew what’s new?!

Gusto kong ikuwento sa inyo still from econ class na may classmate ako na kaibigan ko rin at kaaway din pala na nagreport. Actually 2 sila kaso nasasapawan ni classmate friend yung isa as in siya na lang talaga ang sumagot lahat haha talaga tas pagkatapos ata umiyak si nasapawan tas sabi nalang niya eh “sir hug!” (everyone laughs) medyo may hitsura si sir eh! Matalino pa haha.. para sakin maganda lang ang mata niya at mukhang mabait as in sobra!! Hehe…
Balik pala kay classmate friend, hindi lang pala sa econ siya madaldal ngayon, nakikipagdebate siya sa teacher namen sa morality tungkol sa love. Act of man ba o human act ah basta ganon noh. Pano naman kasi eh ganun ang situation ni friend kaya ganun. Understanding nalang.

Nababaliw ako sa pag rerecall ng mga pinagreview ko sa protech. Whaa kainis paano ako papasa? Filipino lang semplang na ano pa sa aking most favorite n MATH!!!!!!!! WHARFFF… myyyyyy and submissions of UPCAT are due in two weeks and yet hindi ko pa rin alam ang ilalagay kong 1st or 2nd choice sa school- diliman or manila or EVEN WORST! What course to fill in that four empty spaces that would forever change my life and would seal my fate and be doomed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Pahabol…. I love my teachers this 4th year… all magaling and all pero masyado atang nag rub off yung fact na we are the BEST SECTION dahil sa hindi na sila nagtuturo ng maayos. EXAMPLE: may lesson ang sasabihin turn your book to page 9999 tas discuss among yourself the topic tas after sone time may pasasagutin ng mga exercises tas tatanungin kung gets tas yun na. kung di gets daw raise your questions and saka lang mag eexplain! Tama ba yun???? Haaayy… pano naman ang katulad kong average jane lang?! haha plastic!! Hehe

Oh siya sige babush na!!! ewan baliw na talaga ako. Kokey love yah!!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

this is a fasssssst post

school is here and we are starting lessons on it's second day. im seated no, sandwiched between 2 student council officers, a very meek girl (i felt as if touching her would make her break) and a familiar face but nevertheless un close aquaintance! did i spell that correctly?

so there! and im busy too arranging paper stuff for college. oh so tiring! hehe..

and last i think one of my uer close friend is being drawn away from me and for that i feel


Monday, June 05, 2006

School days are here again!

Finished school supplies shopping with ate daisy and mom. Nakakita ako ng uber cute na notebook worth p75 kaya lang it’s so small no lecture in it’s right mind would fit in there so ginawa ko nalang siyang assignment notebook slash organizer. Now nung nakita ko yung receipt ng mga pinamili, I found out na ang cute notebook pala ang pinakamahal na suppy na binili ko. Amputs. Mas mahal pa sa mga notebooks ko haha. Ah nagkalat din pala yung mga books explaining the da vinci code. Tao nga naman noh? Basta kumita lang at ma expose for a few seconds sa tv eh kung ano anong kabaliwan ang naiisip!

Si kim nga ang BIG winner, although it was rightfully hers naman talaga I can’t help but feel bad kasi in the last few days na nandun sila parang dun lumabas ang tunay niyang ugali. I can sense some “KALANDIAN” in her the way she was with Gerald. And I dunno why but I sometimes get the feeling na she’s doing this to intentionally hurt mikee eh. Ok we all get her point: she doesn’t like mikee anymore more than she likes Gerald but she doesn’t have to go to the extent of making him feel unwanted. And hindi na rin niya kinakausap si mikee eh. With Gerald naman, I remember nun na nagpromise siya (na hindi naman hiningi ni mikee) na he’ll back off kim and that they are just “good friends” but actions prove otherwise. But with him I don’t fee likel he’s doing it intentionally unlike kim. Besides umamin naman nun si Gerald na gusto niya si kim so yun. I pity mikee lang talaga kasi I feel na dahil sa tahimik siya at soft spoken kaya siya nagaganun. And hindi niya maexpress ang gusto niyang sabihin. Plus he is always being put into spot when kim is being asked whether it’s him or Gerald parang ang sakit naman nun ‘nuff said! Wha. At least now, he doesn’t have to endure watching kim and Gerald make “harutan” now. He deserve someone better! Im glad he’s the runner up!! atenistas rule! Haha

Pahabol pbb: rustom looked so cute with braces ha! Sayang nga lang he’s oh so gay!

Oh I also bought a new bag and new shoes. New everything for the last one. Hope this things will last! Sobrang gastos na sa part ko noh!! I also bought a bag for ate daisy and insisted on “bag na pang college” though im still having a hard time understanding that noh. Such things exist pala. Well yun haayy.. oh my sister likes pink now! Girly girly na siya unlike back then when she wants guns and car toys. Good improvement! Now if I could just convince her to wear skirts!

Current mood: shady’s back… back again! Tell your friends!

Thursday, June 01, 2006


I went yesterday to the hospital to get my skin checked because of the super smoldering summer we all had. Now meeting with my uber prof mom (she’s the head nurse) we went to the ground ground floor where dr. emerlinda is waiting for us. She spent half an hour asking normal stuffs and making jokes as if we were kindergarten classmates. Haha.

Then she elaborates more about the skin test I will undergo then. Specifically called a prick test, it’s designated to find out which among allergens are you allergic with. This test is divided into 3 categories that I dunno what. And each category has 20 kinds of specimens/allergens. Now here’s the catch: to each 20 specimens/allergens a needle will be dipped into it and later on be “prick” as in TUSOK to your skin. So that means my skin will be pricked by simple math calculations 60 times with different whatnots that I might possibly be allergic. Ok. Big deal, so much for my fear of needles.

Seeing my panicked face, mom came to the rescue. She asked if I just take one category of allergens first instead of taking the whole panel as the doctor called it. She agreed. Whoohoo!! Now I just have to deal with 20 needle pricks. When everything was done I saw 20 little dots on my skin turning red and big and blotchy. Some of them are even begging to be scratched BUT I hold them all off. Whaaa for 20 long and agonizing minutes. When it was now REALLY done. Results shows im allergic to the ff.:

-bermuda grass and any kind of grass

so there. 40 pricks to go

current mood: prick

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I will blog again...

It was immobile for the whole month of May because our net was busted and I was VERY busy!! And due to that many feelings and experiences were bottled up but I can’t very well tell everything in details right? I have short-term amnesia, soorie! So here are some bytes and tidbits of everything under me!

One embarrassing moment that happened this summer was one afternoon when I was crossing a busy street. I was halfway there when suddenly, I tripped! Yes friends.. in the middle of the street with all the cars and people looking. And take note.. there wasn’t any hole or banana feeling or anything that might caused the fall no nothing. My stupidity just happened to be allergic today!! I heard everyone say “ay!” and due to shame I just hurriedly stood, brushed my knees and walk away. Simple and the world continues.

We’ve been to EK like a week and a half ago. It was the annual summer trip of where my mom work and we tag along. We went to tagaytay too and saw where Claudine Barreto was wed. Nice place it almost blew me away. At the picnic grove, I was scared of slipping down the super steep slopes and after the very long walk in eco-trail (1.7 km I think?) I forgot I was in tagaytay and it was supposes to be cold. Then we also saw the pineapple places and there were in this hill. This hill is covered with rows of maturing “pineapples”. I’m just wondering how did those planters even reached the top of the hill since it was so steep. But their pines are so sweet!! The juices are dripping as we ate them back here. After this was the EK experiences and I rode everything twice except the water rides. Mom convinced me to try space shuttle. My heart literally stopped as I heard the levers pull loose and do the twist and turns. I can’t stopped shouting especially when for a split second I felt the bars coming loose. Oh well one extra challenge accomplished.!

My sister Jonida Sofia Christine is one heck of a brave girl. She was given a ride all ticket to EK but I thought na hindi naman niya sasakyan lahat. Boy, was I wrong! She rode the mini roller coaster, rio grande, the huge swing, log jam and space shuttle with me. After the ride, she was telling everyone her back was broken and her famous line “napaiyak ako pero walang tumulong luha!” hehe. Crazy

It was just an ordinary day when suddenly mom called me and told me to enroll my siblings. She gave me instructions and told me to hold on to the money with dear might. OA ka mommy!! And what lang naman I was holding 100 000 in my bag!! I was nervous as to how to count the money since I fear as what will mom do to me if it was stolen!

A long time friend of mine turned foe texted me and say she wanted to patch things up. I received the text early but replied late since I don’t know as to how to deal with it. Finally I replied that we have to talk first about what happen and she agreed. Ok. We are currently fixing things up and hope that it will be for the better knowing that it’s the last year for us… hehe!!

I despised the lack of justice and equality here in the city!! Kasi one morning I was walking and I saw some LTO officers who are inspecting drivers if they are wearing their seatbelts. Good, I told to myself at least EVAT has some good results! But then I saw them stop a tricycle driver since obviously he has no belt but then the Honda civic and other cars after him that wasn’t wearing ANY seatbelt was able to escape the ticket!! I was furious! Is this the kind of people we expect to protect us and make sure we are safe and blah?? There were many of them and yet they focused on the tricycle leaving the other cars free. What the heck!! I will not be surprised if our country will not just make it. Just look around and you will see!!

I am doing PROTECH yeah!! Sa gemsville… the schedule is Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday form 1pm to 5pm well… this is already good compared to the mwf 8am to 5pm the LTC offers!! And im having a hard time. Honestly! I can’t seem to remember my lessons from frosh to junior! Oh my, im in trouble especially MATH. By the way im a loner here. No one near and close!!

I attended a seminar about catechesis and was excited for what is to come. Although there were horror stories na sinabi. I was still positive. I have lots of plans for my future students!! But most of all, I want to also learn from them. Learning is a two way process and I am very motivated by that!! Haha.

Walkathon with a friend for about 2 hours is good especially if you two hadn’t see each other for quite some time now. We were basically just talking, reminiscing and laughing ourselves off while eating lunch and burning calories. We found six cats and one of them was inside a closed sack. Poor cat. He also told me that another friend “kath” was going to stay in states for good na. haay.. I wasn’t able to say a proper goodbye!!

Another friend said goodbye to me too as she left for states. The night before, we were just txting each other and savoring every last moment we have. Too bad I have to sleep early. When I woke up, there was a txt that is telling me she was already In the airport and finally she told me she was on board and is ready for take off. Well will see each other in 5 years I guess and I know by then everything will never be the same again.

Ok im glad that bam and nina are finally out!! There so feeling papansin and scene stealers!! Nina is so OA!! And doesn’t she know decent clothing? Yeah I know she’s pretty and skinny but she doesn’t have to show it by always wearing the same white shorts!! Hanggang sa labas ng bahay ni kuya think the buzz and homeboy yun paren suot niya!! Oh well, she said she was poor and probably proving to everyone she is!! But I like mikki and aldred… mikki is so cute and pretty!! :)

Erik mana! The man of my psychic life!! my god I had watched his show and talagang anong nangyari? I literally saw the coin drop from his hand!! Pinaka freaky yung sa video with samara!! Sumigaw talaga ako!! Hehe.. I wish I have that one chance to talk to him and kukulitin ko siya talaga kung paano niya talaga ginagawa!! Haha.

Lapit na ang school. Haay.. excited? Anxious? Nervous? Whaaaaaah. One last. Hehe… give it the best shot men’ itodo na to. It feels like a lifetime ago, everything that happened I mean. Blurred images of past rush by… wow can’t believe that much happened. Well ganon yata talaga. One big shot deal and then it ends. Boom tick tock..

Ay,,, I started to keep a diary again. Wala lang. I just wanted to write again. Sabi ko kase noon sa last entry sa diary ko eh Im going back someday when everything is a-ok! Well yun lang tsaka yun. Na miss ko ang pagsusulat ng kababawan tulad nito haha.. tsaka I fear na baka pag di nako nagsulat eh mawala talent ko. Parang something to that content and I might as well as die rather than lose it!! Whaa I can’t imagine life without pen and paper… ay baliw na talaga ako!!

Monday, April 17, 2006

I think I should change.
Ewan ko kung nagpapakasenti lang ba ako o talagang nahihibang na talaga. Aba eh nagdaan lang ang holy week eh nagkakaganito na ako. Or maybe I do have some point. In reflecting last quaresma, actually to be honest eh wala akong bagong nalaman,, walang meaningful reflections, eye-opening experiences or kahit miracles. Wala. So pwedeng palabasin na walang kwenta ang reflection na yun pero ok lang. dapat nga ba akong magbago? Kelangan na ba? Ganun na ba kapangit ugali ko that I needed some greener grass??

Alam ko na change is ok.. if it’s for the better. Eh sandale.. ano ba talaga ang gusto kong baguhin?? Hindi ko alam at wala akong ideya. Basta bigla nalang sumage na parang maganda ang magbago. O baka hindi rin… siguro sa sub conscious mind ko andun na talaga. Di lang nagpapapansin.. anyways.. yun nga isa pa eh bakit ko nga ba gustong magbago?? At para kanino ba ang pagbabgo na iyon? Sabi ng mommy ko, kelangan ang pagbabago ay nangagaling sa puso ng taong gustong magbago. Kung hindi eh hindi raw magiging epektib. Parang gamot. For example… masakit ulo mo,, iinom ka ng gamot. Sa paniniwala mo na gagaling ka dahil sa uminom ka ng gamot eh gagaling ka talaga. Hindi ba? Ayun. Nafifeel ko na hindi ko gagawin ito para sa sarili ko. Ngunit para kanino? Kay mama?? Sa mga kaibigan ko? Ah basta ang alam ko lang eh mamahalin nila akong lahat, ano man ako… tanggap nila kung sino man ako. Eh ako? Tanggap ko kaya ang sarili ko?? Ewan.

Maraming pagkakamali na ang nagawa ko. Marami eh yung mga tipong life-changing events. Masakit man ang mga yun eh oks lang… tutal marami naman akong natutunan at hindi. Haha, siguro given a chance kaya na pwede kong ulitin ang mga events, ano kaya ang gagawin ko? Pipiliin ko ban a pagdaan ulet lahat yun? Siguro dapat ang sagot, oo kasi kung hindi… hindi ako ganito ngayon. Masaya ako nagyon at contented pero given the circumstances, I could have been much happier now pero tama na… ayoko ng regrets.. naiinis lang ako. Ayoko ko ng mga what-ifs kasi nafufrustrate lang ako lalo sa mga katangahan ko. Actually, tanga parin ako hanggang ngayon pero iba nang klase. Haha. Paano? Hindi ko masasabi eh..

Balik tayo sa change.. haay,, naalala ko noon.. sabi ko sa nakachat kong friend,, change is two-faced. Tama naman nga ako. Kasi kahit anong change pala.. maron positive at negative side. hindi maiiwasan yun. Haha. Kahit anong liko, left turn, kurba.. babalik at babalik ka parin sa fact na ganun talaga. So I guess ok parin ang pagbabago… para mag step out daw sa comfort zone.. meron palang ganito noh?? Hindi uso kasi sakin toh. Haha.

Naku inaantok nako.. matutulog na ako!! Babush…
I scribbled at 12:20 am… haha..

Sourgraping sucks!!