Saturday, September 24, 2005

The fairy tale has ended...

The curtain has fall...

Awww... it is a very rainy nighttime and I could hear the rain splattering down our roof. The day you said goodnight is bein’ played in my Mp3. It has been a month since that eventful date has taken place. Actually there was really no exact date since that would mean ages ago, not just one or two months.

It all began with a bump. Up to this moment, I still have not decided whether that would be a lucky one for me. Anyway, yun nangayri na ang lahat ng nangyari but it wasn’t a smooth sail, a portent of the bigger and fright-er things to come. We’ll we all know that when you’re crazy, you just don’t think right... I guess that was exactly what happened to me..
But then I believe, I was doin’ the right thing.

Yes, happy moments did exist but like the way they come.. They easily go too. Just leaving me feeling a little sadder every time I would try to reminisce them. I want to keep these memories for this are the only things to remind me of what had transpired between the 2 of us but then keeping them would mean more hurt and hatred. These memoirs no matter how happy are not worth remembering anymore so I will leave it just like that.

That is until someone changes everything and anything. The someone are actually 2 persons who have helped me grow somehow into a better and mature person. They thought me everything from real friendship to letting go and moving on. The lessons I have learned with them would always be like a puzzle that completes my -no not my heart but my mind and life.. heheh!

They also helped me realize that what I feel for the 1st person above is not love though I have to learn it the hard way. The mere fact that I wasn’t willing anymore to try one more time means that it’s just never gonna work out. I try to be the good, true and perfect girl for him but sadly... I maybe too much or less for him... it’s not that we are always fighting but then we have this irreconcilable differences we can’t live without. We can’t hit neutral ground and therefore chose to stay away and/or walk away...

We have been together for almost 1 ¾ years, but then just counting the time that I really felt something for him would mean just a year or even less- the remaining months are void or nulled since technically, he’s not that special anymore to me. Maybe it’s because of fear, lack of courage or simply pity. Whichever reasons it will point out, one thing is certain- that my love has come and go now it’s time for the final bow-

The final months of our relationship, was something of a blur- a façade of lies and empty broken promises... a veneer of what was coming. I realize then that it was a match not made in heaven or hell; it’s just not really meant to be. I don’t know in how many more ways can I describe what happened to us in a more appropriate way since it would always include cutting and wounding words not only for him but for the few people who have played a major part in our lives.
Hurtful words have been said, a brazen act has to be done but finally... it’s all over. It’s just funny that I didn’t feel any sadness or pain.. Am I weird or crazy again??? Then maybe that I was already waiting for it for a very looong time since then pah... I am overshadowed by my wish that I don’t have any regret at all. It’s that way I can say that I have really move on- for bigger and better things in life. I can really say that I’m now ready for the next big event! I also dunno if im suppose to thank him for everything he once did for him- I dunno really. Im confused why does it has to end bitterly this way. Maybe this is just what fate has in store for us, to be separated for eternity. I really don’t mind... though going back with everything that has happened has somehow help me achieve the higher level of understanding and be emotionally wiser. He also taught me things I couldn’t possible knew lest I met him. I guess that’s something to be thankful for. Well but weighing things again, he had done me more hurt than help, given me more problems instead of lessening them so I’m getting back the thank you-.

Now, the fairy tale has ended,,,
The curtain has fall...
The play is over- and that’s the way it’s suppose to stay

My secret addiction that I can’t kick

Living in today’s modernized and digitalized world had made my lifestyle certainly better. What with the onset of the more decent and well-written movie screenplays, better sounding recordings and of course, more choices for night outs and gimmicks...

And definitely, one of the deconstructed arts today is our local rock music scene. It has definitely evolved from e-heads to rivermaya to bamboo as we have it today. Now sponge cola enters from here,,

I was lazily flipping the channels late one afternoon when MYX came on, there was this song being played. Right there and there I was captivated by the way he express the song and with the song itself, so passionate and sensual. Hmmm,,, thus then my craze for sponge cola and Yael Yuzon was born...

I had become a full pledged fan Ever since that day and went on to gather info about this local rock band. Sponge cola is composed of Yael Yuzon, doing the vocals and guitar, Gosh Dilay for bass, Armo strumming it with guitar and Chris Cantanda rocking it out on drums. All the guys are hailing from ateneo de manila university. The band was formed back then in their highschool years and it underwent changes until sponge cola emerged, as we know them today.

They had primarily released their EP entitled “spongcola” containing the songs: “lunes”, “jeepney”, “Saturn”, “a tear” and “cigarette”. The two vernacular songs were what captured their listeners alike. Then Sony music came to distribute their whole length album “PALABAS” with regards to their theatrical roots last Oct. 18 2004.

I just love hearing Yael’s voice belting out their originals like KLSP, NEON (which has a very meaningful lyric) and of course who would forget the song featuring the great tragedy of Romeo and Juliet, GEMINI. Their songs are mostly all about love and it’s contemporaries. (im listening to their songs as I write this-hehe!) His vocal range is also something being able to shift from mello to screamo!!! Ang unique pa ng sounds nila coming from all different influences. Galeng talaga then students pa sila so they are in some sense a role model for bein’ able to juggle studies with their passion. Wow! Talaga! Im really impressed with them and it seems that not even an inch of this is getting to their head- very modest indeed.

Definitely sponge cola is one of the most promising and hottest band in the local rock scene. They are the next big things or so as they would continue to charm everyone with their cool sounds and youthful energy.

I wish I could see them na in person cause I always seem to miss their gigs here in our place!!! ‘m looking forward to that!!! Heheh!!!

With this their magic has already worked for me - - haaayy!!!

Angel’s psyche....

Hmmm,,, im wondering why of all a thousand different names and monikers I have chosen angel’s psyche.....

Bakit nga ba???

First, I guess I want a new pen name for myself since Im tired of being blue_rosé. Ever since I’ve been exposed to the world wide web I’ve been using this name so I guess its time has expired na hehe,,, second is that to forget memories of the past, not all of them though just the one not worth remembering-more of this in my future blogs!. Since makeover is a way of forgetting be it people things or events I decided to renew my passport whahaa!!

Ok so really why angel’s psyche?? Am I an angel who is sent from up above?? Or someone who have fallen down from grace—I hope not!!
Angel... whenever I would here of this word would make me launch into my dream mode... masisisi ba ako??? This oh so mysterious beings are according to the friendly dictionary is a messenger “angelos” or a guardian... between the 2 definitions, im more of the latter or so I think... hehe!!! A guardian,,, protector or a shield...not only for other people but for me as well... I want to be an angel to myself and to the persons I love if they would just let me be one to them, to show them that I have one thing worth loving for-

PSYCHE- means spirit, the mind, soul... the mere essence of our life is psyche.. Everything around us is wanting and waiting for a part of us,, don’t you believe?? We people are living in this fast-paced world for us to be something-someone aren’t we? But do we have time for the simpler yet meaning-fuller life practices we’ve all outgrown now. The spirit would want to be free, to be able to soar into new heights and explore the whole horizon before it. Just like the wind we should give freedom to others so we ourselves would be able to achieve one. The essence of life is waiting for us to impart something and make a difference.

Now put them together for angel’s psyche. I am still to find out how this two would jive together so that’s something to look forward to. Heehaw!! Seriously speaking I think the angel’s spirit yearns to be free and be left to grow. It has to develop it’s own way of living, adapting and yes, growing. It has to be molded and formed in accordance to what destiny permits.The angel’s spirit wishes to have imparted something in the course of it’s life or journey. The journey which is the never ending mystery called life-