Saturday, September 24, 2005

The fairy tale has ended...

The curtain has fall...

Awww... it is a very rainy nighttime and I could hear the rain splattering down our roof. The day you said goodnight is bein’ played in my Mp3. It has been a month since that eventful date has taken place. Actually there was really no exact date since that would mean ages ago, not just one or two months.

It all began with a bump. Up to this moment, I still have not decided whether that would be a lucky one for me. Anyway, yun nangayri na ang lahat ng nangyari but it wasn’t a smooth sail, a portent of the bigger and fright-er things to come. We’ll we all know that when you’re crazy, you just don’t think right... I guess that was exactly what happened to me..
But then I believe, I was doin’ the right thing.

Yes, happy moments did exist but like the way they come.. They easily go too. Just leaving me feeling a little sadder every time I would try to reminisce them. I want to keep these memories for this are the only things to remind me of what had transpired between the 2 of us but then keeping them would mean more hurt and hatred. These memoirs no matter how happy are not worth remembering anymore so I will leave it just like that.

That is until someone changes everything and anything. The someone are actually 2 persons who have helped me grow somehow into a better and mature person. They thought me everything from real friendship to letting go and moving on. The lessons I have learned with them would always be like a puzzle that completes my -no not my heart but my mind and life.. heheh!

They also helped me realize that what I feel for the 1st person above is not love though I have to learn it the hard way. The mere fact that I wasn’t willing anymore to try one more time means that it’s just never gonna work out. I try to be the good, true and perfect girl for him but sadly... I maybe too much or less for him... it’s not that we are always fighting but then we have this irreconcilable differences we can’t live without. We can’t hit neutral ground and therefore chose to stay away and/or walk away...

We have been together for almost 1 ¾ years, but then just counting the time that I really felt something for him would mean just a year or even less- the remaining months are void or nulled since technically, he’s not that special anymore to me. Maybe it’s because of fear, lack of courage or simply pity. Whichever reasons it will point out, one thing is certain- that my love has come and go now it’s time for the final bow-

The final months of our relationship, was something of a blur- a fa├žade of lies and empty broken promises... a veneer of what was coming. I realize then that it was a match not made in heaven or hell; it’s just not really meant to be. I don’t know in how many more ways can I describe what happened to us in a more appropriate way since it would always include cutting and wounding words not only for him but for the few people who have played a major part in our lives.
Hurtful words have been said, a brazen act has to be done but finally... it’s all over. It’s just funny that I didn’t feel any sadness or pain.. Am I weird or crazy again??? Then maybe that I was already waiting for it for a very looong time since then pah... I am overshadowed by my wish that I don’t have any regret at all. It’s that way I can say that I have really move on- for bigger and better things in life. I can really say that I’m now ready for the next big event! I also dunno if im suppose to thank him for everything he once did for him- I dunno really. Im confused why does it has to end bitterly this way. Maybe this is just what fate has in store for us, to be separated for eternity. I really don’t mind... though going back with everything that has happened has somehow help me achieve the higher level of understanding and be emotionally wiser. He also taught me things I couldn’t possible knew lest I met him. I guess that’s something to be thankful for. Well but weighing things again, he had done me more hurt than help, given me more problems instead of lessening them so I’m getting back the thank you-.

Now, the fairy tale has ended,,,
The curtain has fall...
The play is over- and that’s the way it’s suppose to stay

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot!
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