Sunday, April 17, 2011


If there was one concept, that at my age, I still have a hard time trying to understand, that would have to be the concept of death and dying. Even If I am in the medical field where death is a natural phenomenon and an everyday occurrence, it still never fails to puzzle me as to why does it occur and when it does, what is left for all of us?

I met B when I was roughly 10 years old and he was half my age. I saw him crying in a corner and when I approached him, he immediately cross the remaining distance and hugged me. And what was a confused 10 year old girl would do? Simple. She hugged him back. No words had to be uttered for everything has been said. And that started a friendship that would bring us forward to why I am standing here before you.

B has never been an aggressive, go-getter, do everything today kind of boy. He prefers to take slow but sure steps whenever he has goals. He was never in a hurry of his life. He savors every moment, every experience because he probably thought that he has a lifetime ahead to do whatever his heart desires. And most of us, thought of it that way. No one was prepared that he would be leaving us so soon. No one in his right mind would think that such a young fine boy would suddenly be gone and taken away forever. One moment he is a 15 year old boy bursting with dreams and aspirations then like a thief in the night, sickness came to take him away.

we are gathered here tonight I believe not because we are mourning for the death of a good friend, a good nephew, a good classmate or a good son. Yes, partly for that reason but we are crying not for him for he is now resting in the company of the Lord. We are crying because we are left. Left without him and to go on without his presence.

if there is one moment that would forever remind me of you B, that would be last summer. I was lounging around in your house to wait for your sister so that we could go out. You suddenly appeared next to my side and hugged me tight while making lambing "ate jackie, let's make those cookies na!" I remembered making a promise to him that I would bake cookies with him but at that time.. I was just too busy to be bothered so I sweetly said to him that next time we would bake for real. Ever the understanding child, he beso-ed me and quietly left the room. And that was the last time I ever saw his face.

what I learned from that is that we should cherish the people and the moments we have with them. For their could be another one after that. If only back then, I knew that there will be no more other chance, another date, I would have taken myself back against all odds back to that moment and baked those cookies with him. No matter how busy I am.

From this I realized with a broken heart that moments are all we'll ever have. So for us left here, let us not waste any more moments. Let's savor and treasure them for they are those that mean the biggest to us. Look at the person to your right and left, hug them.. kiss them and tell them how much they mean to you for it can be the last time you can tell them so.

B, I am still finding it hard to believe you were gone. I am 20 years old and you were only 15. You have so much life and opportunity going on for you. But God has many other plans that most of the time, humans have a hard time comprehending. And I am not to start questioning God why for there has never been a circumstance that I felt the need to do so For Great is Th heart of man but greater is the will of God.

I thank you for the friendship you have given me and for all the hugs and kisses you've given me that will mean more now that you are gone. The life you have lived was short but you inspired a lot of people.

Rest well now B and I will miss you forever. Blow me kisses from up there with kuya. The song might have ended but the music lingers on forever. I love you.

*a speech I made for a special friend of mine who passed away late last year which I read at his memorial and since a very angelic young boy passed away today, I finally thought of writing it down here and in a way, dedicating it to him too.

afterthoughts: I really really feel for his parents because I can't even begin to imagine what it feels like to come face to face to the fact that your son is dead and was gone too soon. I think I will never be able to handle it. My mom said to me once that she will die if anyone of us comes first before them since the normal order of things is that children outlived their parents. Sad sad sad day for many of the people today.

R.I.P. AJ Perez and B

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