The time has come
Eto na… the right time for me to finally say goodbye to my dear alma mater, holy family academy and to all it’s places, events and people.
Graduation is here and so is goodbye.. nakakasad solid na im leaving for good and won’t be coming back.. at least not for a long time… and even if I do return, things would be different then.. I’d be a different person and so will holy family be.
I gonna move on to a different place.. a place that is very new to me. I am afraid of what my decision was but im standing by it. To take on new steps,, to grow and mature. Let go of the clutches of almost everyone and be at my own feet, even if it means im gonna break my heart for leaving this persons who make me life complete. Maybe letting go of this school will also let me let go of all the things or persons that are weighing me down. Sometimes, I think that it won’t be worth it but this is a decision that im sticking to. I really feel that God is calling me to go,, maybe this is His way.. His plan, and im willing to follow this plan wherever it may take me. It’s hard to say goodbye and leave but I must take the risk and breakaway from them and for me.
Goodbye to everyone.. each one of you was a piece of my heart that im gonna leave here together with all the memories we’ve all shared. Goobye.. goodbye..
Friday, March 30, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Dirty little secrets!
Finally after a week of sleepless nights and turbulent questioning, my (or rather the school’s secret) has been about who made it on the honor list. It’s hard keeping a secret as big as that because I am getting the feeling that any minute from then on, im gonna slip off. Haha. It was also weird knowing something that only the top people would be given a chance to know while my fellow seniors torture themselves in pondering about it. Hehe. Many are asking why do I know about it? Well, I can’t really speak in details but to summarize everything…. We sat down with sis. Ida for chitchat last week and the meeting looked like a committee looking for a possible solution to a predicament. We exchanged, argued and debated ideas and beliefs over one topic. It was hard because sister was expecting our view or (as odie says) our verdict to help her fathom things. but nevertheless eventhough the conversation’s issue was sensitive and serious, we managed to get cozy and candid. The meeting ended with us writing papers for her and seeking the partial list (very partial). We were even given snacks afterwards! (sayang, it was expired!) After this, I was again called and was shown the entire list na. I was shocked and sister again asked my final say and like what I said 2-4 hours before, I stood by my decision.
Fast forward, I was sitted beside wen and was holding bianca’s hand when sister passed by and said hi to me! funny! And then came the announcements which surprised me no more. Many tears had fallen If I may say and then sister after announcing the list went over and hugged me. and then when we are going to leave na, she again talked to me and asked if I agree with her decision.. and I told her “yes” and smiled. She smiled too and said she enjoyed talking to me then she pinch me on my arm.
“We could be merciful but we have to let people suffer the consequences for their actions”
“It is our decisions, which puts us into whatever situations we are in right now.”
“Judge your success by what you have to give up in order to get it”
Finally after a week of sleepless nights and turbulent questioning, my (or rather the school’s secret) has been about who made it on the honor list. It’s hard keeping a secret as big as that because I am getting the feeling that any minute from then on, im gonna slip off. Haha. It was also weird knowing something that only the top people would be given a chance to know while my fellow seniors torture themselves in pondering about it. Hehe. Many are asking why do I know about it? Well, I can’t really speak in details but to summarize everything…. We sat down with sis. Ida for chitchat last week and the meeting looked like a committee looking for a possible solution to a predicament. We exchanged, argued and debated ideas and beliefs over one topic. It was hard because sister was expecting our view or (as odie says) our verdict to help her fathom things. but nevertheless eventhough the conversation’s issue was sensitive and serious, we managed to get cozy and candid. The meeting ended with us writing papers for her and seeking the partial list (very partial). We were even given snacks afterwards! (sayang, it was expired!) After this, I was again called and was shown the entire list na. I was shocked and sister again asked my final say and like what I said 2-4 hours before, I stood by my decision.
Fast forward, I was sitted beside wen and was holding bianca’s hand when sister passed by and said hi to me! funny! And then came the announcements which surprised me no more. Many tears had fallen If I may say and then sister after announcing the list went over and hugged me. and then when we are going to leave na, she again talked to me and asked if I agree with her decision.. and I told her “yes” and smiled. She smiled too and said she enjoyed talking to me then she pinch me on my arm.
“We could be merciful but we have to let people suffer the consequences for their actions”
“It is our decisions, which puts us into whatever situations we are in right now.”
“Judge your success by what you have to give up in order to get it”
Friday, March 16, 2007
One enchanted night
(this was posted later because of some technical glitches haha..)
Oh senior year prom day is definitely one of the most memorable events in high school. That’s because I had a lot of firsts like:
>first time to arrive on time.. actually not on time but so much early on time!
>was able to criticize gowns like the “bubble skirts” haha. Nice one Jason!
>First to have my photo taken at the booth.. well the first senior fine!!!
>able to photo shoot every person worth remembering (yep, even the stolens and the candids are kasama.)
>the first time to decline someone for a dance, when before I was dying to be invited by him haha.(noe im regretting I didn’t accepted his invite.
>the first time to almost cry on the dancefloor. Haha thinking about it now this is so funny! Well for 2 reasons eh.. 1st is that I was already about to approach this person to ask him to dance with me kaso at that precise moment he was already holding another girl’s hand. Second is that basta, public blog kasi to eh so in short I felt the night was too perfect to be true. (fast forward, totoo nga, too good to be true!)
>the first time to actually trip because of my heels. (I lost my bet to brown… he promised 5k if I could walk properly with them.)
>the first time to dance non-stop for almost 5 songs ahaha addict!
>I finished the entire food on the plate (deserves the Oscars!)
and finally……..
the first time to dance with someone I barely knew for almost the entire night and actually enjoyed it. :) I never thought that the prom was so much better when he was around (at least you know he’s a guy… haha) and like everyone was saying.. everyone was shocked that I was dancing with him.. you know,, it’s weird. Peculiar. Unusual. For me or for him daw. Haha. People talaga. Well, I was surprised myself. Well, at least I can look back at prom and say “oy, masaya ang prom dahil kay *toot*”
Okey.. prom awards II
Most bad-trip moment: best dressed nominees are all juniors! What the heck! Even the prom queen was a junior! Damn you junior teachers!
Most memorable: odie’s messed up lyrics. The best.
Most kilig moment: last slow dances for the night.. whoohoo.. I was like drugged then!! I even remember the songs… “what matters most”, “let the love begin”, “grow old with you” and “how did you know”.
Most nakakasuka: nelson and edralin doing all their acrobatic stunts onstage..eww,,, totally gross.
Most masenti part: the tribute!! But it was kinda dragging eh,,
Happiest moment: when I was asked by someone to dance
Nakakatouch moment: bestfriend najee dragged me to dance and said “bestfriend dapat and first dance!”
Nakakaaray na moment: seeing him dance with someone else. Huhu. I was about to ask him na eh.
Nakakainis na moment: lining up for the food. It took us forrrrrrrrrrever to have ours.
(this was posted later because of some technical glitches haha..)
Oh senior year prom day is definitely one of the most memorable events in high school. That’s because I had a lot of firsts like:
>first time to arrive on time.. actually not on time but so much early on time!
>was able to criticize gowns like the “bubble skirts” haha. Nice one Jason!
>First to have my photo taken at the booth.. well the first senior fine!!!
>able to photo shoot every person worth remembering (yep, even the stolens and the candids are kasama.)
>the first time to decline someone for a dance, when before I was dying to be invited by him haha.(noe im regretting I didn’t accepted his invite.
>the first time to almost cry on the dancefloor. Haha thinking about it now this is so funny! Well for 2 reasons eh.. 1st is that I was already about to approach this person to ask him to dance with me kaso at that precise moment he was already holding another girl’s hand. Second is that basta, public blog kasi to eh so in short I felt the night was too perfect to be true. (fast forward, totoo nga, too good to be true!)
>the first time to actually trip because of my heels. (I lost my bet to brown… he promised 5k if I could walk properly with them.)
>the first time to dance non-stop for almost 5 songs ahaha addict!
>I finished the entire food on the plate (deserves the Oscars!)
and finally……..
the first time to dance with someone I barely knew for almost the entire night and actually enjoyed it. :) I never thought that the prom was so much better when he was around (at least you know he’s a guy… haha) and like everyone was saying.. everyone was shocked that I was dancing with him.. you know,, it’s weird. Peculiar. Unusual. For me or for him daw. Haha. People talaga. Well, I was surprised myself. Well, at least I can look back at prom and say “oy, masaya ang prom dahil kay *toot*”
Okey.. prom awards II
Most bad-trip moment: best dressed nominees are all juniors! What the heck! Even the prom queen was a junior! Damn you junior teachers!
Most memorable: odie’s messed up lyrics. The best.
Most kilig moment: last slow dances for the night.. whoohoo.. I was like drugged then!! I even remember the songs… “what matters most”, “let the love begin”, “grow old with you” and “how did you know”.
Most nakakasuka: nelson and edralin doing all their acrobatic stunts onstage..eww,,, totally gross.
Most masenti part: the tribute!! But it was kinda dragging eh,,
Happiest moment: when I was asked by someone to dance
Nakakatouch moment: bestfriend najee dragged me to dance and said “bestfriend dapat and first dance!”
Nakakaaray na moment: seeing him dance with someone else. Huhu. I was about to ask him na eh.
Nakakainis na moment: lining up for the food. It took us forrrrrrrrrrever to have ours.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
My heart finally decides/ happy 17th birthday to me!
Commercial lang:
Here are the things that are worth mentioning in this day:
-Najee was the first to greet me the advanced happy birthday 11:40 pm
-jom was the first to actually greet me a happy birthday 12:00:10 am
-mommy was the first to send me a picture greeting
-jasper sent a total of 75 text greetings in succession causing my phone to wipe clean my inbox
-mariel was the first to greet me on school
-Justine was the last to greet me before going home.
-Ryan was my only close friend who actually forgot my birthday.
-melvern was the last person to greet me for the day.. hey! He even made an effort and called me on the cellphone. Awww. Touched.
-someone made a pasimple birthday greeting through Joseph. haha
-someone hugged and kissed me on the cheek before going home. (Anti-D!)
-I saw a scene that totally made my heart go toink! (Whatever is this, no one will ever know. letters!)
-this day was spent practicing for commencement exercises and liturgical songs. Exhausted really.
It’s my birthday and here I am trying to make the decisions that would forever influence my life. Meaning… that whatever I decided within this time being would be enough to change my future and either make it a happy or a disastrous one.
College life looms around the corner and there is no use trying to pretend that it won’t happen because it will. And since college is near, I need to decide which university will I be staying since the confirmation dates are all nearing. The choices: ateneo de manila or university of Santo Tomas… BA communication or BS nursing.
A magazine said that in making decisions, you should not just decide rather, discern.. in our cle class… discernment refers to the process of recognizing God’s will as unfolded by life’s events. What does GOD really want me to do? And that is the question I am going to answer at the end of this entry.
Last march 09, we went to st.scho marikina and we passed by ateneo.. Seeing my dream school now so close to me had left me feeling of happiness and pride because I was one of the very few people who were able to meet its very high standards. Ever since I first heard of ateneo back then in grade five, I had always dreamt of the day when I would be a part of that school and be able to study there. So I thought, “what the heck, this happens to me only on a blue moon... would I let it pass?” silly me... it was only months then when I was pinning away because I thought back then that I had failed miserably and now look at where I am..
Last February 10, I went to UST for the final requirement of passing the nursing standards,, the interview. And while I was waiting, soaking in everything that I was seeing there had also made me so blissful because of all the thousands who had applied to be a part of the nursing roster, I was again one of the few people who even managed to run the second leap. In my heart, I know that I am indeed very lucky for having such fortune. This was also a chance of a lifetime for many are called but very few are indeed chosen, the final question is will I answer and hear the call?
Two great opportunities are laid down on my table today. Two very rare chance are now presented to me for me to able to finally take my pick but which one should I choose? Which direction of the wind must I follow? And what will make my heart really happy? Here’s how I finally took my pick…
Last march 09, we went to st.scho marikina and we passed by ateneo.. Seeing my dream school now so close to me had left me feeling of happiness and pride because I was one of the very few people who were able to meet its very high standards. Ever since I first heard of ateneo back then in grade five, I had always dreamt of the day when I would be a part of that school and be able to study there. So I thought, “what the heck, this happens to me only on a blue moon... would I let it pass?” silly me... it was only months then when I was pinning away because I thought back then that I had failed miserably and now look at where I am.. but as we passed by all it’s gym and buildings and roadways, I feel like I am walking an unfamiliar road. All the happiness that I was feeling was suddenly accompanied by an ill feeling of sadness. And finally, I felt very alone and sad because I was waiting for my heart to finally hit the buzzer and say “congratulations jacq!, this is your dream and you’re about to make it come true! This is what you’ll be calling home for the next four years” but sadly, there was no buzzer, no banner and no sense of belonging. It is then as our bus slipped of katipunan that I realized that maybe ateneo might not be for me.
As when I walked the rooms and buildings of the nursing department and saw all the students and chaos that UST presented, I still managed to have a sweet smile. Entering our car and preparing to leave UST, my heart finally gave me the answer I was waiting for… for my heart finally felt at home.
It is true that many dreams would have to remain dreams for the rest of our lives for they maybe too high or too dangerous or in simple words, simply not meant for us. Yet I have been blessed to have 2 of my most wished dreams come true at the same time at a situation I haven’t expected. But with these came the great agony and pain of choosing which one to take and which one to leave and let forever remain a dream. But what had helped me decide which one is actually a very simple act.. Listening to my heart and perceive its whisper for im sure, it has always been there since the start for the dream wouldn’t have been there..
But good things I know comes almost always with a prize. A prize that I thought would have been easy to elude. Yet it struck me down and let me experience the pain and regret of what I have to give up to get what I want. And it’s a very saddening fact that what I gave up took almost everything again from me… everything that I had worked so hard for.. so I really have to let it pass and I guess I would have to content myself with the knowledge that what I gained was BEST than what I gave up (the grammar was an exaggeration).
“With love, there are no rules.. The heart decides and what it decides is all that really matters.”
Commercial lang:
Here are the things that are worth mentioning in this day:
-Najee was the first to greet me the advanced happy birthday 11:40 pm
-jom was the first to actually greet me a happy birthday 12:00:10 am
-mommy was the first to send me a picture greeting
-jasper sent a total of 75 text greetings in succession causing my phone to wipe clean my inbox
-mariel was the first to greet me on school
-Justine was the last to greet me before going home.
-Ryan was my only close friend who actually forgot my birthday.
-melvern was the last person to greet me for the day.. hey! He even made an effort and called me on the cellphone. Awww. Touched.
-someone made a pasimple birthday greeting through Joseph. haha
-someone hugged and kissed me on the cheek before going home. (Anti-D!)
-I saw a scene that totally made my heart go toink! (Whatever is this, no one will ever know. letters!)
-this day was spent practicing for commencement exercises and liturgical songs. Exhausted really.
It’s my birthday and here I am trying to make the decisions that would forever influence my life. Meaning… that whatever I decided within this time being would be enough to change my future and either make it a happy or a disastrous one.
College life looms around the corner and there is no use trying to pretend that it won’t happen because it will. And since college is near, I need to decide which university will I be staying since the confirmation dates are all nearing. The choices: ateneo de manila or university of Santo Tomas… BA communication or BS nursing.
A magazine said that in making decisions, you should not just decide rather, discern.. in our cle class… discernment refers to the process of recognizing God’s will as unfolded by life’s events. What does GOD really want me to do? And that is the question I am going to answer at the end of this entry.
Last march 09, we went to st.scho marikina and we passed by ateneo.. Seeing my dream school now so close to me had left me feeling of happiness and pride because I was one of the very few people who were able to meet its very high standards. Ever since I first heard of ateneo back then in grade five, I had always dreamt of the day when I would be a part of that school and be able to study there. So I thought, “what the heck, this happens to me only on a blue moon... would I let it pass?” silly me... it was only months then when I was pinning away because I thought back then that I had failed miserably and now look at where I am..
Last February 10, I went to UST for the final requirement of passing the nursing standards,, the interview. And while I was waiting, soaking in everything that I was seeing there had also made me so blissful because of all the thousands who had applied to be a part of the nursing roster, I was again one of the few people who even managed to run the second leap. In my heart, I know that I am indeed very lucky for having such fortune. This was also a chance of a lifetime for many are called but very few are indeed chosen, the final question is will I answer and hear the call?
Two great opportunities are laid down on my table today. Two very rare chance are now presented to me for me to able to finally take my pick but which one should I choose? Which direction of the wind must I follow? And what will make my heart really happy? Here’s how I finally took my pick…
Last march 09, we went to st.scho marikina and we passed by ateneo.. Seeing my dream school now so close to me had left me feeling of happiness and pride because I was one of the very few people who were able to meet its very high standards. Ever since I first heard of ateneo back then in grade five, I had always dreamt of the day when I would be a part of that school and be able to study there. So I thought, “what the heck, this happens to me only on a blue moon... would I let it pass?” silly me... it was only months then when I was pinning away because I thought back then that I had failed miserably and now look at where I am.. but as we passed by all it’s gym and buildings and roadways, I feel like I am walking an unfamiliar road. All the happiness that I was feeling was suddenly accompanied by an ill feeling of sadness. And finally, I felt very alone and sad because I was waiting for my heart to finally hit the buzzer and say “congratulations jacq!, this is your dream and you’re about to make it come true! This is what you’ll be calling home for the next four years” but sadly, there was no buzzer, no banner and no sense of belonging. It is then as our bus slipped of katipunan that I realized that maybe ateneo might not be for me.
As when I walked the rooms and buildings of the nursing department and saw all the students and chaos that UST presented, I still managed to have a sweet smile. Entering our car and preparing to leave UST, my heart finally gave me the answer I was waiting for… for my heart finally felt at home.
It is true that many dreams would have to remain dreams for the rest of our lives for they maybe too high or too dangerous or in simple words, simply not meant for us. Yet I have been blessed to have 2 of my most wished dreams come true at the same time at a situation I haven’t expected. But with these came the great agony and pain of choosing which one to take and which one to leave and let forever remain a dream. But what had helped me decide which one is actually a very simple act.. Listening to my heart and perceive its whisper for im sure, it has always been there since the start for the dream wouldn’t have been there..
But good things I know comes almost always with a prize. A prize that I thought would have been easy to elude. Yet it struck me down and let me experience the pain and regret of what I have to give up to get what I want. And it’s a very saddening fact that what I gave up took almost everything again from me… everything that I had worked so hard for.. so I really have to let it pass and I guess I would have to content myself with the knowledge that what I gained was BEST than what I gave up (the grammar was an exaggeration).
“With love, there are no rules.. The heart decides and what it decides is all that really matters.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)